What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in my local birthing center’s new parent training, and I’ve been involved in numerous home diaper changes, and I have over 300 confirmed formula bottles. I am trained in gorilla binkies and I’m the top “got your nose” player in the entire US playground system. You are nothing to me but just another babysitter. I will put your baby the fuck to naptime with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of nannies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your diaper genie. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can change your diaper in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in one-armed baby wipe retrieval, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the American Association of Pediatrics and I will use it to its full extent to wipe the miserable shit off your baby’s butthole, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
Props.
If this motivates them into being good dads then great
Pretty much.
The tactical dads I know are a bit cringy with their military swag, but they’re around for their kids.
Yeah, around enough to indoctrinate them too I’m sure.
NGL as a dad myself, I would be far more likely to make fun of this guy and his tacticool diaper bag than any dad carrying around the girliest bag their wife obviously picked out. It’s way cooler to not give a shit what other people think of your child raising accessories.
Also, it looks like he is wearing his child as a tiny human shield. Squishy plate carrier.
NGL as a dad myself, I would be far more likely to make fun of this guy and his tacticool diaper bag than any dad carrying around the girliest bag their wife obviously picked out.
And people are calling the guy in the OP image fragile…
Shocked we didn’t see Elon wearing one of these with his
human shieldchildIt looks cool, I’d use it! When you start making fun of me I’d just shrug and carry on, because I don’t care what judgements some weirdo makes about my accessories.
Right? If you like it, you do you. It’s shitty to criticize someone for liking a certain style.
The baby carrier and bag my wife got do not fit on me. The “mens” ones all look like this, so I had no choice.
On a related note, I find most of the bags marketed towards women focus more on aesthetics than usefulness and have poor functional design all over the place. These “tactical” bags tend to focus on functionality, which is a big plus IMO.
Diaper bag on Amazon literally listed as “for women” has more functionality that that side bag. They don’t make Molle pouches for wipe dispensers like that side pouch this one has. Most of the 1st 20 results are the same level of ‘functionality’ - I don’t doubt that some women’s bags are more about aesthetics but this is literally advertising the aesthetic of the bag to men over function. Is there a diaper changing mat included with that tactical bag?
My wife is also not completely selfish and realises I’m also gonna be using these items so we pick something neutral.
Yo, guys. Is it gay to take care of your kids?
Better butch this up.
I do like the idea the baby gear can be designed aesthetically for the parents using it. Not just soft pinks and blues, and preschool prints.
Ya, I’m not into the aesthetic but it does represent the societal progress in parental roles.
The molle panel could hold so many binky leashes too.
designed aesthetically
“Military” as an aesthetic is very 90s-minded. Like, 30 years ago, when I was a dumb teenager who was excited to see the live-action GI Joe movie, cosplaying as an Elite Operator Guy felt no different than playing around as a cowboy or a knight or a jedi.
Now? Idk. I can only expose myself to so many “Gaza Humanitarian Foundation” gore videos, with guys dressed like that opening fire on a crowd of starving Arab children, before I’ve lost my taste for this kind of aesthetic choice. Its beginning to feel like I’m seeing a guy who wraps his kid in a swastika themed blanky.
I meant I could get behind them using other aesthetics, not military, but were chosen with adults/parents in mind.
I also wondered about this, so I googled “diaper bag”. Literally all the results just look like normal bags. They aren’t covered in rainbows and butterflies. Just a random color + bag.
Fair enough. I was just thinking of the diaper bags a few of my friends have.
Plenty of diaper bags with sportsball branding and Comic Books for Adults aesthetics.
Of course, there’s a lot of military advertising in both of these media circuits, so… shrug Any time you need to make your diaper bag look like something other than a diaper bag in order to feel secure, you’ve been cowed by The Patriarchy.
What if you want it to look like a diaper bag without being in baby pastels? Is that ok or just the patriarchy again?
I’ve seen a few in shades of matte gray and camel tan that work great. Very boring and gender neutral. No need to proclaim your sexuality when you’re using them.
I don’t have an issue with the product. It could be funny in the right context.
I have a problem with the manner it’s marketed. The ad doesn’t say good things about its own product, but instead tries to attack competing products as girly.
I think we have the same problem with whats being shown.
Don’t forget to complete your style with your tactical baby.
Smells more like Call of Doody.
It’s MY doody, and it’s a BIG one!
What’d you get a medal for? Wiping?
Lol I was going to say, you don’t actually have to change the name, you just have to say it the right way for it still lto apply to parenting.
What the hell kind of name is Soap? How’d a muppet like you get to be a daddy?
Call of doody
When my kids were babies a “man’s” diaper bag looked like a leather satchel.
Thing was awesome, too. The flap was attached with Velcro and was padded plastic on the inside so you could use it as a changing mat.
It held about a dozen diapers and a full pack of wipes and a change of clothes and snacks.
All the moms at the park were jealous.
Mine was Hello Kitty. All the moms were jealous.
Mine was from not REI but somebody like REI, basically industrial strength camping gear baby kit and was also awesome. Lasted through my kids, then my sister’s, and now a cousins. Like 10 kids and almost 20 years and still looks nearly new.
Rei is for me a little girl controlling large robots, with a really concerning backstory
What is this REI you speak of?
Maybe I’m just out of the loop - and hope for not being alone in it
Recreational Equipment Inc. It’s a big outdoor store in the US. They have camping and hiking stuff mostly, not really fishing or hunting.
And, just like Canada’s MEC it used to be a co-op, and still likes to pretend to be a co-op, but is actually a for-profit corporation these days.
Sorta. I agree, they are a for profit company now. They do still let members vote on the board of directors, which is kinda cool, but it also seems like those elections are a sham with little to no oversight these days. And you can sell your own shit back to them, which is kinda co-op adjacent at least. What I really hate is that they got rid of their classes and trips, it was a big part of what drew me into the membership in the first place.
Thank you!
I would love to have a bag kind of like those cloth knife sets: rolls out into a change pad with all the goodies
Fellas is it gay to have a kid?
only if you got a diaper bag without camo
Diapers. Butt wipes. Saltines. M4A1 with grenade launcher attachment. Binky.
Only if it’s a boy
If the gays don’t have kids we will run out of gays /s
Imagine keeping cum as a pet
And now that gets to live rent-free in your head just like mine lol
Only if you teach them to be literate.
What if I’m gay and I can’t read?
Maybe prioritize learning to read over procreation. There will be plenty of kids available when you’re ready.
So much marketing is directed towards men set on convincing others they’re not gay
Which in itself is kinda gay lol
Not that there’s anything wrong with that
Wow a recent Seinfeld reference - nice!
That reference is old enough that Seinfeld himself wouldn’t date it.
I think all Seinfeld references are right about there now.
Such a waste. Men get so few opportunities to wear peppa pig branded gear and still get respect and recognition from passers by.
Peppa Pig is a shit head. Her dad is one of the worst personification of a father that I have ever seen in a children’s show.
Why would I want to represent that?
Now a Bluey Diaper Bag …
Bluey gang rise up
I want the crowds to part for me like Moses. That’s why mine is Caillou themed
Don’t worry, I’m sure they make peppa pig tactical patches
I kind of want to see black and white Peppa Pig skull patches that poke fun at Punisher patches, but I think the irony would be beyond the thin blue line crowd.
sorry, but the closest thing to that I could find was a hello kitty punisher skullThat works too I suppose.
The thin hot pink line?
The biggest perk of obvious-looking diaper bags is that you can sneak weed brownies into pretty much any event or theme park.
Just say you get hypoglycemic and they let snacks through.
Actually kind of looks cool if you are into military gear… what’s the big deal.
Dad’s are awesome
Yeah, it looks like it’s got a lot od straps to make it easy to adjust and ir looks better then the stupid fucking colors of other baby carriers. The wide shoulder straps look comfortable too
When baby starts crying you say, “toughen up soldier!” In a soft military drill sergeant voice.
“No free rides!” You whisper as you wipe the drool from baby’s lips, “you got to earn your keep around here,” you whisper.
To all the people putting guys down for using it, screw you. If it gets dad’s more involved in parenting, that’s categorically a good thing!
Is it a cheap trick to boost some men’s confidence? Yes. But so what? If your wife has an overly girly nappy bag, an “ironic” overly manly one has a lot more effect than you might think.
A lot of men are very insecure, when it comes to parenting. There is a massive amount of training and advice out there for mums, but VERY little for dads. We are left in a limbo of either being disconnected, and complained about, or bumbling and being complained about. It’s improving, but slowly.
I agree. To me, this is just an amusing fashion choice. If you’re gonna need the gear, so you may as well have fun with it.
Honestly, when it comes to any accessory or tool, it’s going to have an aesthetic. Who cares what that is (as long as it’s not offensive). There’s also a tendency to consider terms like ‘fashion’ to be emasculating, but that’s what this is: fashion. Plus, kiddo isn’t going to care about logos and any gender representation; the only shit they’re giving is in their pants.
Other fashion choices for diaper bags that could be explored:
- Metal (leather/pleather, spikes, denim, band patches)
- Goth (like above, but with less denim and more ankhs and crosses)
- Gamer (cosplay appropriate bags, pokemon that’s also a bag, D&D mimic on a shoulder strap)
- Sports (tons of practical and team-branded merch options here)
- Office (suit material, inoffensive beige, briefcase handles and leather)
- Handyman/tradesman (toolbag or toolbelt aesthetic, tool manufacturer branding)
- EMT/firefighter (first-aid compartment, red/white aesthetic, cheeky “diaper emergency kit” on outside)
- Outdoorsman (gore-tex, tent material, typical REI brands, lots of straps for different carry options)
Edit: not a dad. Some of these may already exist. Point being: it’s all a matter of taste.
I am a dad and a baby toolbag sounds awesome. I love the way a good toolbag makes your stuff accessible to you and would absolutely want a baby version (or perhaps an insert into an existing toolbag?)
That’s kind of where my head was going. I also had a good chuckle when I imagined a bright turquoise baby-bag with “Makita” on the side. Then again, that’s exactly how you get a refrigerated compartment for milk.
Also punk. You could cover pretty much any bag with patches
Not sure if I want more parental involvement from the kind of guy who wants military aesthetic everything, but I get what you mean. I guess everyone’s style will be cringe to somebody
My kid has been wearing 2nd hand metal shirts for about 15 years. That was also the aesthetic when we made quilts for him as a baby.
I gotta imagine there’s people out there laying heavy judgment on that decision. We think it’s hilarious. Poor dude was like 13 the first time I got a call about a Cattle Decap shirt he was wearing. I guess, technically it was sacrilegious but I appreciated him self advocating and pointing out a “guns, god, country” shirt another kid had on.
Thanks for attending my ramble about judging people’s parenting fashion.
If it gets dad interacting, and bonding with the baby, it’s good for both of them.
For most buyers, it will be a minor statement “I chose to be a hands on dad”. For certain demographics, that’s a big deal.
I put it in the same category as bright pink tool kits. They look slightly silly, but get people involved.
I don’t think the military style is the issue per se, rather than a society that is heavily gender coded, to the point that men who want to get involved with their kids find themselves constantly using female coded gear, which is a constant reminder that “you’re doing a female task!” and only pushes them away / attracts ridicule.
Let them fucking have this. It’s baby steps, you know?I’m lucky France isn’t in the hands of Y’allqaeda just yet, and that I ain’t worried I’ll catch the gay if I wear the wrong colour, but I can’t imagine what it’s like in the US, honestly.
men who want to get involved with their kids find themselves constantly using female coded gear
This isn’t an issue with baby carriers. Look at the top results on Amazon. They’re mostly black or grey. Sure, more than 90% of the images with a parental figure show a woman, but the items themselves aren’t “gender coded”.
Given that, the idea here is that carrying around a baby is itself a gender-coded activity, so men need to use gender-affirming clothing to emphasize that they’re not women by buying something that looks similar to what a soldier might wear. That’s what’s fucking stupid. Just buy the standard black baby carrier. I promise 90% of the world won’t think you’re less of a man because you’re caring for your offspring.
Most of those baby carriers fit like shit on men because the shoulder straps are too close together. I hadn’t found one I found reasonably comfortable until these tactical ones started appearing.
Pretty much.
Rainbow shirt - ugly looks by conservatives.
Camouflage pattern shirt - ugly looks by the hippies.
Cthulhu shirt - ugly looks by the Christians.
SUPREME shirt - ugly looks by society.
I was gonna say muppets shirt, but then I remembered that I know people who were traumatized as children by the Fire Dancers in Labyrinth.
It’s the marionettes in sound of music for me. Somehow they fell right into my uncanny valley.
What about a diaper bag with the UNSC logo on it and a baby bjorn that says “
player 3 🎮”?I mean I’d take one of these
And one for the Texans
It’s funny, but can you imagine how much that kid would get shaken around just from a standard walking motion?
Or while dad is riding a horse
Holy shit, I’d wear that baby hjolster. I would absolutely get chaps and dig my dancing boots out of the closet for the outfit.
If you see another dad with one you can have a baby draw duel
As an old dad, you have my sign off. Especially if you can get a jumper that says 1v1 me. I always appreciate a kid that will stare you down.
Man if this is what gets a dad involved in raising the kids I feel bad for the kids. Is it looking at the child when they are first born? Is it the smile on the child’s face as he sees thier dad walk through the door after a long day? Nope it’s the camo gear that does it. They didn’t want to be involved when is some girly baby, but now that there’s men’s gear specifically marketed toward manly man now he’s interested. That kid is screwed.
Dad’s get frozen out of a lot of early parenting things. Anything that gives men the confidence to get more involved is good.
E.g. my wife took our daughter to “sing and sign”. I decided to go along when I could. Out of 20 parents, I was the only non-mum. The next meetup, there were over 1/2 dozen dad’s, and a grandad. The instructor was surprised and pleased with this. All it took was them knowing they wouldn’t be the only dad there.
If a “manly” bag gives them the confidence to break the norms, then good on them!
Word!
True. Still funny.
If it gets dad’s
1 for 2.
There’s the door, see yourself out.
If it gets dad’s more involved in parenting, that’s categorically a good thing!
It’s literally making their parenting hands-free.
The carriers were one of the best buys we made for my daughter. She hated the pram, but loved being carried. With a carrier, she was close, and warm, while being involved in what we were doing. We could also get on with the basic tasks of life.
FYI, the wraps, for smaller babies are also great. The baby cuddles you get are amazing. Also the smell of your own baby is like crack cocaine. It’s one of the best bonding tools out there.
Well, other than it being all tacti-cool in aesthetics, standard baby gear is not as well arranged as what’s in the picture.
That gear in the pic would let you carry the baby stuff with your hands free and able to actually take care of an infant out and about. Waaay better than the usual shoulder sling or backpack options, and absurdly better than the kinds meant to be carried by hand.
There’s a reason surplus gear used to be wildly popular. It was mostly designed to work. It would be better than what you could get outside of a surplus store, even when what you were getting was years out of date and current issue was better. With companies making stuff that’s built with stuff like molle in mind, following principles that make what’s being carried leave hands free but be reasonably accessible, shit just works better, even though it looks ugly.
If I’m toting an infant around, I don’t need pretty, I need comfortable and capable.
Someone actually Down voted you for a really good response to the image that was posted. Honestly, there’s nothing wrong with what you said.
It just looks dumb because some men like to cosplay being a soldier too much
ATGE
No idea what that means.
Ah, my old Reddit days showing.
/r/ATGE
Awful Taste but Great Execution
Ooooh yeah forgot about that one
Right? This is a perfect application for tactical gear. Modular, expandable, easily accessible storage is ideal for baby gear. This just looks a little dumb because it doesn’t show any attachments.
It’s just a standard baby holster and a shitty bag. You not got baby holsters where your from? Like what they don’t allow open carry?
Heh, good one.
Legit though, I used to have to carry similar supplies (minus the actual diapers and infant) for my job, and it was really hard to find things that were durable, well compartmentalized, had good capacity and could be cleaned relatively easy.
Towards the end of my working years, that kind of “military inspired” stuff started showing up, and it really did beat the pants off of other options I had been using.
It was super nice to be able to really organize all the ppe, wipes, gloves, spare pads, etc I had to tote around to patients. Not that nothing else worked, it just didn’t work as well.
I felt like a moron with the whole tacticool vibe, but not enough to switch back lol
PPE? Against projectile vomiting? Need iron dome style lasers for that.
You aren’t kidding lol. Projectile diarrhea is even worse imo. And I’ve had both get past ppe before. Not good times
I remember ordering stuff back around 2008/9 off eBay. I always went with black. Even now it’s still cheaper for the mil stuff than actual work bags. Like shit I’m shopping for a new rolling toolbox and base price for most are like 200 for basic shit
All of the molle could actually be incredibly useful in this scenario. You could keep everything you’d conceivably need at hand.
Yeah, molle rocks. The bag I had when I was working, I kept gloves and wipes in two front pouches I could swap out fast. I’d have multiples prepped so I could grab and go, stick them on and be out the door faster. Super nice when I would have multiple patients and something messy happened, or I’d need to resupply at home. Take care of the prep once a week or so assembly line style and spend less time not getting paid to do work stuff.
Baby supplies are really similar, and a parent of an infant is going to have similar time issues (for different reasons).
Modularity is awesome.
Hate the aesthetic but I would have killed for a diaper bag like that.
Women’s apparel notoriously often lacks any pockets. At least historically. Not sure if there is a connection with the standard baby gear but an odd coincidence regardless.
I’m sure there are advantages to the “baby on your chest” design vs. other designs. But, that’s not what people are commenting on. They’re commenting on the tacti-cool suburban ninja elements.
Like, the loops on the front of the carrier. Real police and soldiers use those to carry items like flashlights, guns, knives, extra magazines, etc:
First of all, hubby at the Wal*Mart doesn’t need quick access to guns or flashlights. He might need quick access to a wet wipe, but I don’t think they make tactical wet-wipe pouches.
Second of all, The reason that attachment system is useful for body armour is that things are directly on the wearer’s chest. They can look down, see the item they need, and grab it immediately. When the tactical attachment system is on the baby’s back, you can’t look down and see it anymore. You could reach around and fumble for something, but if you’re doing that, why not just put down the tacti-cool shoulder bag and look in it instead?
Finally, surplus gear is great. This isn’t surplus. It’s imitation military gear. Surplus gear is good because it’s actual military gear designed to hold up in harsh environments. In military gear, form follows function. It’s brown because it’s designed to be decent camouflage in many different environments. Brown isn’t going to help hubby hide in the cereal isle at Wal*Mart. It has PALS straps because they’re the best way to attach gear and make it quickly accessible. As I pointed out above, fumbling around behind the baby’s back for something doesn’t serve that same function. The surplus gear is also reasonably durable because soldiers wear it while doing heavy physical activity in harsh environments.
I would imagine that your bog-standard baby carrier is actually going to be reasonably durable for its normal intended use of lugging a baby around. That’s what people buy it for, and if it doesn’t hold up people will buy something else. The size of the straps, the padding, etc. for a standard baby carrier will be one where form follows function. But, this tacti-cool baby gear is probably not durable. The manufacturers know that people buying it will be buying form over function, so they won’t be putting the emphasis on something durable, but on making it look visually similar to army gear. It’s not military surplus, it’s Hot Topic imitation army gear.
I mean, I referenced the tacticool thing already, but you do you
