You might have ADHD.
I’m going to add habits. Some things that seem impressive just boil down to doing the obvious thing in the moment, times many years worth of moments.
Dopamine.
Now, what your particular wiring that triggers dopamine hits that are unique to any of us, we only find out by exploring ourselves by exposing ourselves to the many experiences in life. For some of those things we’ll instantly connect to it (because of a dopamine hit) or identify some part of the activity which will lead us to refining the experience to get the better result.
My thought is if we replace the small dopamine hits we get from these genuine experiences or interests with easy chemical dopamine sources (drugs or alcohol) in excess, we would become bored with life. If we can get a 10x hit from simply drinking something rather than the 1x from a small personal improvement in a skill we have an interest in, that drink will nearly always win out.
This isn’t supposed to be preachy though. Each of us gets to decide for ourselves. This is just how I figured out how I work.
Boredom, deadline induced adrenaline, and an unhealthy amount of alcohol. If I’m lucky, the project will fall under my current hyperfixation, and that will make it easier.
I don’t recommend my strat.
Boredom.
Big problem today because screens have ensured you are never bored, and so innovation and creativity suffer, and depression skyrockets.
Try this: throw your phone in a drawer for the weekend. I guarantee after Sunday you’ll have done a whole bunch of fun and different things you never would have if you were glued to your phone. Bonus points if you disconnect your router too.
Laziness.
I do stuff now to avoid doing more stuff later.
Good point.
IDK. I have an executive function problem so motivation and desire still aren’t enough to get me to do anything.
Did you go see a professional about that?
Yeah, but it’s a PITA. 6-8 months between appointments and half the time, the doctor has to reschedule when I show up.
Boredom.
But, really feeling it, not filling the gaps with the easy dopamine hits of information consumption.
Spite is my biggest driver. If I have a reason to do something out of spite I will not back down
If you do find out please let me know
As someone who was suicidal as a child and never thought to make it past 18:
I guess I just like living. I like putting the effort and seeing the results, even if it’s a lot of effort for just a small payoff. I also like knowing that I matter, and that people around me are happy with my pressence.
I also really like the thought of making a change. Be vocal about my life experiences and maybe changing someone’s mind. Swimming backstroke to be true to myself, and making a stance. The normal way is not the only way, you know?
I also adore art. I like connecting to a piece of art, seeing human emotions molded into such a fasinating sound, ambience, coreography, phrase, whatever. Knowing that someone felt something so strong and constant, that they had to rush to create something, and express it, share it with everyone with a tint of creativity, just as I do.
To answer your question, I’m gonna go with: Find something you like, and just keep doing it. I love creative works and human expression, but maybe you like something else. Biology, technology, cooking? Connect with it and start small. A small flower in a pot is enough.
The only way I can now describe how young me felt, is blind. I spiraled into a really awfully negative nihilism after an ugly life event that made me stop believing in God (to this day I consider myself an atheist, and I don’t think that’s ever gonna change. And I don’t want it to change). I thought that life did not have a purpose, that all the suffering and the pain and the bad thoughts were all for nothing, since there was no meaning to it all. My only refuge to the pain was daydreaming about a world in which I was never born, in which I didn’t hurt my friends. Everything else, didn’t matter. The things that made me happy weren’t working.
The years went by, the feeling stayed there. “Why do this, if I’m gonna end up dying anyways?”.
But eventually, my vision started changing. Maybe it was just growing up, maybe it was meeting new people that challenged my perspective of the world, maybe it was finding my currently favorite music artist and seeing his journey. My memory is a bit foggy due to all the trauma, sorry. But my vision started going upside down. Suddenly it clicked for me: Life has no meaning, but that’s not actually bad. It’s freeing, actually. Existence being inherently meaningless meant that I had no greater expectations. If there truly was no meaning, what’s stopping me from doing what makes me happy, and just keep doing it? Besides life obligations, I could do whatever I want, whenever I want, however I want. That’s prime environment for experimenting, for discovering myself, and finding my own, small, not cosmic-level meaning that made me wake up every morning: Happiness. I was gonna fight with life so I could get the happiness I deserved, and that’s what I’m doing to this day.
I know this answer won’t magically cure the depression of everyone reading this. Some people just have fucked up dopamine receptors, some people do cling to religion, some people don’t have the amount of freedom in their lives to do what they truly like. But I’m throwing my story here for the chance that it lifts at least one person up, even if that motivations lasts for just the rest of the day.
I also know the future is looking real bad. The things I thought I could be doing 3-4 years ago are off the table. And people seem more hateful with each day passing. That has taken a toll on me. Sometimes I just want to quit. But I’ll keep fighting, for the people who cannot.
That’s similar to the conclusions I came to while on psychedelics in my 20s
Do you still live by that? How’s it going?
Also no substances required for my journey, lol
This mf once walked away so far away from life he ended up getting a bird’s eye view of what life really is.
Now dude’s giving everyone the Buddha 26.2 public beta patch update.haha, it’s not for everyone, but it’s something.
That’s exactly what Buddha said.
I needed this today, so thanks!
Maybe I can give you something back as I also look in horror at our world “leaders”:
We have been making life better for average people for more than 10,000 years. This, too, shall pass. And those of us who keep trying to make things better for humanity have a long winning record if you look at a big enough picture. Hang in there.
I really hope that’s the case. I still am quite pessimistic in nature, but I want to have hope.
My drive typically comes from the satisfaction of making my family/friends happy.
That’s good.
But what about making you happy?
Meh, not much about making me happy motivates me. It makes me happy to make others happy.
As long as you don’t forget yourself mate…
lack
Hunger and money mostly, with the latter as a way to have experiences.
I think you’re missing one. Curiosity, if you’re romantic. Or dopamine if you’re cynical.
We’ve found that intelligent animals will investigate simple puzzles in a laboratory setting, even when the potential for reward has been removed.
We’ve also found that if you give people a little puzzle to solve, in the absence of reward, people will attempt to solve it regardless. As soon as you offer to pay them, however, the desire to solve the little puzzle is gone entirely as soon as the money is gone. This was shown in a study where participants were offered a dollar per shape they recreated with blocks. Participants who were offered nothing continued to work even when they were left alone and weren’t expected to.
That doesn’t explain hobbies.
I lump in hobbies with experiences. The reason for getting money is so I can pursue hobbies and experiences.
This makes a lot of sense.
The fact that I can do something. I have the ability to try. Not that I will always succeed but the simple fact that I am allowed to make an attempt.
