Trump, 79, admitted to Fox News on Tuesday that he feels he is “at the bottom of the totem pole” regarding his odds of making it to the promised land, leading many to ponder: Why is the president suddenly so hell-bent on making it to the pearly gates?
This is a level of self recognition beyond what I thought he was capable of. Perhaps it is terminal lucidity kicking in. I hope he is suffering.
Being a rapist pedo will do that, yeah. On top of all the other shit.
I’m gonna go on a limb and say that if that dude gets into heaven, they’ve got some super low standards. I mean, 2am drunkard with full-on coke bottle glasses low.
Next up: Unsolicited call to the Pope to determine how much he’d need to donate to make it to heaven.
Papel Indulgence are a thing. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indulgence
Ohh yeah it is. Confession is also a hotline to low-key blackmail.
Were a thing, and if Sky Daddy is real his mercy definitely isn’t for sale. He might double smite you for asking though.
Religion is 80% marketing, 20% helping the community. The Sky Cake is a lie, but it does get some good things done.
There’s no way we’re gonna be so lucky. Plus, JD in the WH? Yikes.
Trump makes me wish hell existed.
I am going to need something a little stronger than Hell for he and his kind…
Oh, man, I’d feel so bad for him if he died screaming and terrified of going to Hell. 🥳
yeah as if he believes in anything but making money
I’m not even a little bit concerned about his health. I guess that could be taken one of two different ways. I meant for the mean way.
I’m concerned that he has maintained his health for this long.
Who is worse Just Dumb of Putin’s Sock Puppet? I will not shed any tears, but I will bust open a refreshing beer.
I don’t believe for a moment that he is actually even remotely religious. I suspect he’s at most an apathetic agnostic. We all know he simply panders to Christians to get their support. He sees them as suckers who he can grift, just like their preachers do.
I buy it.
If you spend enough time near people on their way out you will find even agnostic and atheist praying at times, Pascals wager and all that. Almost everyone is scared of death, including those that won’t admit. One bad doctors visit can turn people religious.
He worships himself
Maybe if you want to go to heaven do something that has even the slightest positive impact on the world instead of constantly doubling down on making everything shittier…
Or if you really wanted to seal the deal you could turn yourself and all your cronies over to the justice system for your innumerable crimes and be held accountable.
Jk there’s no such thing as heaven.
Satan: Nicky, get the pineapple ready.
He is afraid of dying because he well knows there is a special place in hell for him. Right next to Reagan and Thatcher.
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome
Reagan and Haig
Mr. Begin and friend
Mrs. Thatcher
And Paisley “Hello Maggie!”
Mr. Brezhnev and party “Scusi dov’è il bar?”
The ghost of McCarthy
And the memories of Nixon
And now, adding colour “Who’s the bald chap?”
A group of anonymous Latin-American meat packing glitterati
🍾
Trump took my job in April. Trump placed tariffs so the economy is crashing. Trump fired the lady that was reporting on new job creation. The metrics that track the chances of me getting a new job are falsified.
I hope he dies. I hope he dies alone and is scared in the end. I hope he dies before I become homeless. Damn him until the seas dry and the land ashens. Damn him until time itself shatters.
The reality is that the next fascist republican will be worst (smarter and more evil). America is literally better off with Trump, the incompetent one.
I hope he dies in terror while surrounded by brown and black people.
Personally I’ve been wishing for car fires that they can’t escape from and, if they’re in a Tesla, there might be a chance of that.
Me less so. I feel like those people would be scapegoated.
Eh fair point.
Those last two lines are fire my friend. Good luck on the job search
Thanks, I need it.
I keep hoping the next Big Mac is the one that does him in.
