Trump, 79, admitted to Fox News on Tuesday that he feels he is “at the bottom of the totem pole” regarding his odds of making it to the promised land, leading many to ponder: Why is the president suddenly so hell-bent on making it to the pearly gates?
I’m gonna go on a limb and say that if that dude gets into heaven, they’ve got some super low standards. I mean, 2am drunkard with full-on coke bottle glasses low.
All these really good people coming in behind him saying “Wait, HE’S here? Why the fuck did I behave myself all these years? I could have gotten laid 1000 more times, but NOOOO, I have to remain faithful to my wife, and protect my mortal soul, and I end up in the same place as HIM? JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!”
“Can I help you?”
“Oh, no, I’m sorry, I wasn’t calling you, I was using your name on vain, Sorry.”
“Yeah, you might wanna watch that, we take that one kind of seriously around here.”