If you haven’t accepted it by now then it is unfortunately a part of life. I’ve tried upholding several friendships with established connections that stemmed from the days I lived in my old state for 29 total years of my life. I’ve been gone from there for over 3 and a half years now and I just felt like we have picked the directions we’ve picked and this is where we are all going.

It’s quite sad honestly, because I know as much as I wish to, I’ve no hope of even visiting my old state. The traveling would be taxing and I’d only have a small window of time to see anyone anyways. I just recently allowed my FB to be permanently deleted which contained my local friends and I did that as part of the acceptance that we’re likely not to see eachother again. Because we all excelled when we’re all together in person.

I am under the belief that sometimes, friendships are meant to expire. When they stop doing anything for you and the progressing and building of relations grow to fade because we’ve held on to old memories that stopped being relevant. The hard truth is that at somepoint, people have to be let go. I have a harder time calling someone a friend when we go so long without doing anything with eachother or even communicating.

Technically some people may see me as the bad friend but honestly, I have tried to hold on to friendships where I knew that it had expired and I wasted enormous amounts of time doing that.

yea because they’re married and boring

I realised in recent times that my friends, whom I’ve befriended since secondary school, grew in different ways. They garnered influences beyond my own, and in a natural fashion became different people.
This happens sometimes, and it’s not anyone’s fault, however the people we both became (keeping in mind I most certainly have changed, over the years, in the same light) had a polarising effect on our friendships.

So I called it quits, however with the intention of finding new friends. Being with the same people, at least for me, prevented me from properly engaging in circles which would suit me better by today’s terms.
Honestly it didn’t take too long, I just dived into social situations where I would more likely find like-minded individuals. I’ve made a bunch of friends since, and we already get along better than the ones I no longer speak to now.

Surround yourself with things you yourself enjoy, within a social setting, and you’re more likely to be around people there for similar connections. You’d surely have a lot more to talk about too.
Don’t be too upset about people moving on in different ways though, people grow and some people grow apart. Make sure you continue to grow, is all.

I haven’t spoken to my Best Friend in 10 years, yet I still think of him as my Best Friend.

Yeah, I moved across the country so kinda my fault. I text with them pretty regularly so we keep up to date. I went on holiday with them recently after not seeing them for a year. We’re still really close but we can tell that our lives are diverging and that what we once had no longer exists.

I think its a thing now to surround yourself with people who makes you feel good. So if those people stopped talking to you, you probably didnt have a very meaningful friendship that felt valuable for both people. Thats ok, and thats how life is.

Actually most people we meet become strangers with time, as we change, they change, and we need different people in our lives at that time. Its very normal.

How old are you and also have you become a thing lunatic right-winger? Two of those are common causes for friends drifting apart. 1) if you’re in your late 20s / early 30s most other people are busy with their own shit and don’t have time to engage with the people who used to occupy their entire existence. 2) if you became an unhinged rightwinger spouting insane nonsense then people probably don’t wanna engage with you.

Likely it’s just you’re old now so old social circles close up

Not sure why you’re being shit on so hard in the comments. Speaking as someone who’s pretty guilty of soft ghosting people, including longtime friends. I don’t really mean to do it. I lie to myself and say I’ll reply later. Reason why I’m not replying at the time usually being lack of energy. My worldview is so bleak and warped from what it used to be that it’s unrecognizable. Sometimes I feel like why bother replying, I’ve got nothing new and if they ask how I’m doing it’ll just bring them down with the same old shit. My texting is mostly mechanical. Order ready for pickup, meeting location/time, etc. And I’m getting tired of tacking on positive lies to keep the vibe acceptable. “…but I’m making things work”, “…but I’m doing alright”, “…but things will get better soon I’m sure.”

People are being ground up by capitalism and it’s easier to just look at tiktok or play Baldur’s gate than actually engage with a messy person.

I try to stay in touch with people but it’s hard. I’m also kind of an insufferable asshole, and I think some people leave because they’re tired of “capitalism sucks” coming up

They are. The thing about being a person is that sometimes it’s hard to change who you are while people who know you are watching. Give them time, they’ll find their way back to you.

Just part of changing life priorities good buddy.

Quality over quantity I say.

yes, both of my closest friends have pulled away. one far less, one far more. we’re all good friends as well so we talk about each other since we care about each other. our mutual friend hasn’t spoken to us in months. i have sent them several texts letting them know whenever they want to talk to reach out. i tell them every so often i care about them and love them and am thinking of them, but nothing. we’ve known each other for 20 years… since teens. it sucks. i know what’s going on and i don’t.

the friend i still talk to has pulled back in other ways. we talk frequently but it isn’t about deep stuff anymore other than politics since we are compatible leftists. but i don’t talk about her life and when i try to ask it gets deflected or dismissed. not rudely, mind you, she just doesn’t go into detail.

i understand… but i’m still a bit hurt. i miss friendship; the ones i had before. i hope we all come back to each other.

in the meantime, i have also met new friends. i always enjoy meeting people.

with smartphones people arnt engaging as much anymore.

It feels like I’m surrounded by NPCs.

I mean, that’s a big red flag even using that term…

the only people I talk to are my parents, sister, and my girlfriend

Get their honest feedback, and don’t get shitty if their feedback isn’t positive.

But if you think this is the reason:

I’m probably just an asshole nobody wants to talk to

Then work on being nicer, it’s not going to hurt.

After a while, try reaching out to some old friends, if you’ve done something shitty, that would be a good time to apologize. But you gotta put the work in before reaching out or you’ll get the same result.

burnout and depression are fucking real. i barely have the energy to hang out with my boyfriend some nights, let alone other people. though tbh if I knew someone’s taking my absence as an insult, I’d probably stop trying, and if they were referring to me as an NPC, I wouldn’t even feel bad about it.

also, just saw that you’re 31. I’m betting a lot of your friends’ careers are starting to really ramp up, and if they have kids, that’s where their energy is going