I am not a Bible expert, but every time I’ve heard people talk about it, they reference an Old Testament story where a man’s close female relative (I think his brother’s widow or something like that?) tries to seduce him after her husband dies, but then he lets his seed spill to the ground instead of impregnating her, and this displeases God.
The story is obviously about him not fulfilling his familial duties, but modern Christians pretend it’s about making sure you only ejaculate when there’s a chance of reproducing.
Onan is supposed to impregnate Tamar, the widow of his brother. The ancient Hebrews practiced levirate marriage, where if a woman’s husband died before giving her a son, her brother in law was supposed to impregnate her so that she could have some claim to inheritance/not be left destitute.
Onan didn’t want to impregnate her, because he didn’t want to share the inheritance. So he pulled out and was killed for being a shitty person. Trying to get the O but not the responsibility. Absolutely nothing to do with masturbation.
Later, Tamar is supposed to marry the last brother, but Judah, her father-in-law is freaked out about giving her his last son, worried that he is going to end up getting killed somehow too. So he tells Tamar to go back home and wait. Tamar eventually gets sick of this, dresses up as a prostitute and gets Judah to impregnate her.
I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts
There they are, all standing in a row
Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head
Give them a twist a flick of the wrist
That's what the showman said
Well, (not a Christian) as I understand it the whole “don’t masturbate” comes from the story of Onan. Onan was some rando who had his brother die and as such he was obligated to impregnate his brothers wife (as was the fashion at the time) so his son by his brothers wife would be the heir of his bother… I’m sure it made sense at the time.
Instead Onan decides to practice “pull out” contraception so he can keep fucking both his own wife and his brothers wife too. This pisses off God and he gets all smite-y on Onan.
This gets interpreted as either “Masturbation is a sin” or “Give you brother an heir” or “Don’t defy gods cucking fetish” depending on which sect you talk to.
You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman to lust after her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to depart into hell.
Matthew 5:27-30
If not masturbation itself, certainly porn and fantasizing would be condemned by Jesus.
I have yet to see an english translation that isn’t terrible, but only the worst and most unreliable use the word “hell.” The actual word is Gehenna, a real place that was considered cursed, desecrated, and very undesirable. It does not mean “hell” in the way any modern reader would picture it, as that concept does not exist anywhere in Jewish or Christian scripture. It is a pagan addition.
The word “lust” here also does not mean “horny” it means “covet.” It means an overwhelming desire to possess something. The word “woman” also properly means “married woman” and not just “any woman.” Jesus is not talking about fantasizing, but about a desire with intent to take something that belongs to someone else, inflicting harm.
I wonder if Mr Jonson would kill an Amalek on sight, as the LORD commanded Christians to do. I wonder if he thinks this is in fact what President Trump and Bibi are actually doing.
(for context: Amalekites are a tribe) Numbers 14:25
the Amalekites and the Canaanites live in the valleys
(… that God really fucking did not like) Samuel 15:2-3
This is what the Lord Almighty says: ‘I will punish the Amalekites for what they did to Israel when they waylaid them as they came up from Egypt. Now go, attack the Amalekites and totally destroy all that belongs to them. Do not spare them; put to death men and women, children and infants
Personally? No way, that weasels sack of shit couldn’t do his own dirty work, but I’m sure he delights in seeing anyone who isn’t white and Christian die. Women and children are no obstacle for this filth.
I think that’s a great quote and the man had numerous scientific accomplishments, but as a supporter of Israel he also said (of Britain’s Israeli boycott):
“Given the history of the attacks on Israel and the oppressiveness and aggressiveness of other countries in the Middle East and elsewhere, boycotting Israel indicated a moral blindness for which it is hard to find any explanation other than antisemitism.”
I think the quote is overrated, honestly. There are a lot of times that a “good” person may do “evil” without religion.
Probably the most famous example comes from the Milgram experiment. All that’s required is an authority figure to tell people to do evil and they’ll do it.
And if you study behavioral economics, you’ll find out that a lot of people tend to cheat and steal just a little bit.
Another time is when there is a conflict of interests. I forget the exact quote, but it is said that it will be impossible to get a person to understand something when their pay requires them not to understand it.
You never know until you test it, but my hypothesis would be that the religious people, having spent their entire lives abdicating their moral decision-making to ministers and stone age religious texts, would have different results from people who have had experience thinking about their actions and creating moral convictions on their own.
The line I remember from the bible being attributed to “masturbation=bad” is:
“It is better to spill your seed in the belly of a prostitute than it is upon the ground.”
But that really could be interpreted as to the usefulness of reproduction or pleasure and not really a condemnation of jerking it. Like, it sure is better. But I dont have money for a prostitute so the ground will have to do 🤷♂️
Honestly, I’d believer it. What a horrible sack of shit.
Does the Bible mention masturbation? I know it promotes feeding the poor for sure…
I am not a Bible expert, but every time I’ve heard people talk about it, they reference an Old Testament story where a man’s close female relative (I think his brother’s widow or something like that?) tries to seduce him after her husband dies, but then he lets his seed spill to the ground instead of impregnating her, and this displeases God.
The story is obviously about him not fulfilling his familial duties, but modern Christians pretend it’s about making sure you only ejaculate when there’s a chance of reproducing.
Onan is supposed to impregnate Tamar, the widow of his brother. The ancient Hebrews practiced levirate marriage, where if a woman’s husband died before giving her a son, her brother in law was supposed to impregnate her so that she could have some claim to inheritance/not be left destitute.
Onan didn’t want to impregnate her, because he didn’t want to share the inheritance. So he pulled out and was killed for being a shitty person. Trying to get the O but not the responsibility. Absolutely nothing to do with masturbation.
Later, Tamar is supposed to marry the last brother, but Judah, her father-in-law is freaked out about giving her his last son, worried that he is going to end up getting killed somehow too. So he tells Tamar to go back home and wait. Tamar eventually gets sick of this, dresses up as a prostitute and gets Judah to impregnate her.
every sperm is sacred
when just one is wasted God gets quite irate
Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can’t be found
Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is good
Every sperm is needed
In your neighborhood!
I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts There they are, all standing in a row Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head Give them a twist a flick of the wrist That's what the showman saidThat tracks after I got caught with a stash of sears catalog rip-outs and my catholic mom guilt-tripped me lol.
Neither of us are religious now so it’s kind of funny on hindsight at least.
Well, (not a Christian) as I understand it the whole “don’t masturbate” comes from the story of Onan. Onan was some rando who had his brother die and as such he was obligated to impregnate his brothers wife (as was the fashion at the time) so his son by his brothers wife would be the heir of his bother… I’m sure it made sense at the time.
Instead Onan decides to practice “pull out” contraception so he can keep fucking both his own wife and his brothers wife too. This pisses off God and he gets all smite-y on Onan.
This gets interpreted as either “Masturbation is a sin” or “Give you brother an heir” or “Don’t defy gods cucking fetish” depending on which sect you talk to.
It’s more “don’t defy God” in this story.
That’s basically what ALL of the old testament and ridiculous amounts of the new one boil down to, though 🤷
. ………seriously? First off; what a wild ass story. Second, how on earth can masturbation be the takeaway? Religion is so weird.
Matthew 5:27-30
If not masturbation itself, certainly porn and fantasizing would be condemned by Jesus.
I have yet to see an english translation that isn’t terrible, but only the worst and most unreliable use the word “hell.” The actual word is Gehenna, a real place that was considered cursed, desecrated, and very undesirable. It does not mean “hell” in the way any modern reader would picture it, as that concept does not exist anywhere in Jewish or Christian scripture. It is a pagan addition.
The word “lust” here also does not mean “horny” it means “covet.” It means an overwhelming desire to possess something. The word “woman” also properly means “married woman” and not just “any woman.” Jesus is not talking about fantasizing, but about a desire with intent to take something that belongs to someone else, inflicting harm.
Seems extreme. Maybe we should just throw the entire bible out.
Some serious nofap cult logic.
I wonder if Mr Jonson would kill an Amalek on sight, as the LORD commanded Christians to do. I wonder if he thinks this is in fact what President Trump and Bibi are actually doing.
(for context: Amalekites are a tribe) Numbers 14:25
(… that God really fucking did not like) Samuel 15:2-3
Personally? No way, that weasels sack of shit couldn’t do his own dirty work, but I’m sure he delights in seeing anyone who isn’t white and Christian die. Women and children are no obstacle for this filth.
– Steven Weinberg (RIP)
I think that’s a great quote and the man had numerous scientific accomplishments, but as a supporter of Israel he also said (of Britain’s Israeli boycott):
“Given the history of the attacks on Israel and the oppressiveness and aggressiveness of other countries in the Middle East and elsewhere, boycotting Israel indicated a moral blindness for which it is hard to find any explanation other than antisemitism.”
I think the quote is overrated, honestly. There are a lot of times that a “good” person may do “evil” without religion.
Probably the most famous example comes from the Milgram experiment. All that’s required is an authority figure to tell people to do evil and they’ll do it.
And if you study behavioral economics, you’ll find out that a lot of people tend to cheat and steal just a little bit.
Another time is when there is a conflict of interests. I forget the exact quote, but it is said that it will be impossible to get a person to understand something when their pay requires them not to understand it.
I’d love to see a repeat of the Millgram experiment, but with religious people in one group and non-religious people in the other.
I wonder which more readily abdicate their moral decision-making
You never know until you test it, but my hypothesis would be that the religious people, having spent their entire lives abdicating their moral decision-making to ministers and stone age religious texts, would have different results from people who have had experience thinking about their actions and creating moral convictions on their own.
hes trumps mouthpiece.
I mean yeah, these types of verses are 100% used to understand and condone the slaughter of Palestinians.
wanna bet he doesnt know what amalek is.
Isn’t that the stone head in Legends of the Hidden Temple?
The line I remember from the bible being attributed to “masturbation=bad” is:
“It is better to spill your seed in the belly of a prostitute than it is upon the ground.”
But that really could be interpreted as to the usefulness of reproduction or pleasure and not really a condemnation of jerking it. Like, it sure is better. But I dont have money for a prostitute so the ground will have to do 🤷♂️
Or maybe just don’t ejaculate on the ground you filthy bastard. I’m sure they had like leaves or something if they couldn’t afford tissues.
moneybags in the bible can afford hookers.