Heh. Can tell they’re young. At a certain age you just kind of stare at it, think “Of course”, get the paper towel out, and start looking up new laptops.
Not everything, you ever hit your head on an open cupboard door. That shit turns you into a god damn hulk of anger. Luckily you are too stunned and bent over holding your head shouting every obscenity know in your parent language and somehow other languages because you ran out.
Extended version:
In a daze you reach above you and slam the cupboard door so hard that some of the glassware inside shatters. You get even more pissed, but it’s now directed at yourself. This gets you to focus momentarily and move your ire from the cupboard.
In your rational moment you go to grab the vacuum cleaner, all you have is a floor sweeper with a hose attachment. The closest outlet to where the vacuum is in the living room. You plug the cord in and with determination head towards the cupboard and undo the hose on the way. Somehow the cord was wrapped on itself and as you lift the hose to start sweeping the shards away the sweeper suddenly dies. You realize you just unplugged it and broke part of the outlet in the process.
You drift in melancholy and stumble back to your living room and just give up for a moment. You collapse onto soft carpet, close your eyes letting the pounding of the blood in your veins subside a little. With your eyes still closed. Your dog comes and licks you gently on the cheek, drying some of the tears that begin to flow.
Than you realize, you don’t have a dog anymore. Your dog died a couple months ago. You cautiously open one eye and glance down at your feet. Mildly shocked at the realization, the apartment door is open. You slowly look to your side and see the meth head neighbor give you a toothless grin. You scream in horror, he screams a shrill but hoarse wail as he jumps up and scampers out your door like some hairless simian creature using his knuckles for momentum.
You jump up to slam your door, but before you get there your slum lord apartment manager steps into the door frame blocking you. With a cigarette dangling they take a long drag and release a haze of carcinogens into your face. “The rent was due last week.” than she takes another long pull, crosses her arms wearing a mild smirk.
You slam the door in her face. On the other side you hear “Oh you’re fucking DONE! I’m going to get an eviction notice and your ass is OUT OF HERE!”
As you hear her heavy footsteps receding you slide down your door and place your head in your hands and begin to gently weep. “Fuck that cupboard.”
Thank you for showing me something I was missing in life. I need to learn a second language so I have even more vocabulary with which to voice my anger, anguish, and general dissatisfaction.
Heh. Can tell they’re young. At a certain age you just kind of stare at it, think “Of course”, get the paper towel out, and start looking up new laptops.
Why would you reward yourself with a new laptop
It’s not for me. The water is thirsty.
Now you’re training the water to do it again by rewarding the behavior
It’s new water next time unless you believe that water has memory which is homeopathic nons*nse if you ask me
you can say nonsense on the internet
But I’m not sure about homeopat*ic
Home o’ pathetic?
Source?
Fucking Murphy’s Law strikes again.
Not youth, experience. Passed a level of experience and everything good or bad is just meh.
I think that’s just depression.
Not everything, you ever hit your head on an open cupboard door. That shit turns you into a god damn hulk of anger. Luckily you are too stunned and bent over holding your head shouting every obscenity know in your parent language and somehow other languages because you ran out.
Extended version:
In a daze you reach above you and slam the cupboard door so hard that some of the glassware inside shatters. You get even more pissed, but it’s now directed at yourself. This gets you to focus momentarily and move your ire from the cupboard.
In your rational moment you go to grab the vacuum cleaner, all you have is a floor sweeper with a hose attachment. The closest outlet to where the vacuum is in the living room. You plug the cord in and with determination head towards the cupboard and undo the hose on the way. Somehow the cord was wrapped on itself and as you lift the hose to start sweeping the shards away the sweeper suddenly dies. You realize you just unplugged it and broke part of the outlet in the process.
You drift in melancholy and stumble back to your living room and just give up for a moment. You collapse onto soft carpet, close your eyes letting the pounding of the blood in your veins subside a little. With your eyes still closed. Your dog comes and licks you gently on the cheek, drying some of the tears that begin to flow.
Than you realize, you don’t have a dog anymore. Your dog died a couple months ago. You cautiously open one eye and glance down at your feet. Mildly shocked at the realization, the apartment door is open. You slowly look to your side and see the meth head neighbor give you a toothless grin. You scream in horror, he screams a shrill but hoarse wail as he jumps up and scampers out your door like some hairless simian creature using his knuckles for momentum.
You jump up to slam your door, but before you get there your slum lord apartment manager steps into the door frame blocking you. With a cigarette dangling they take a long drag and release a haze of carcinogens into your face. “The rent was due last week.” than she takes another long pull, crosses her arms wearing a mild smirk.
You slam the door in her face. On the other side you hear “Oh you’re fucking DONE! I’m going to get an eviction notice and your ass is OUT OF HERE!”
As you hear her heavy footsteps receding you slide down your door and place your head in your hands and begin to gently weep. “Fuck that cupboard.”
Thank you for showing me something I was missing in life. I need to learn a second language so I have even more vocabulary with which to voice my anger, anguish, and general dissatisfaction.
My favorite is swearing in French Canadian. Just start saying churchy words with a french accent.