Stuff like “god damn”, “fucking hell”, etc. Anything that stems from religious sources. That includes fudged varieties like “jeez/geez” and “heck”.
And to clarify, this isn’t some attempt to avoid blasphemy or anything. I’m not particularly religious and would rather rewrite the neural pathways for those “defaults”, but haven’t been able to come up with satisfactory alternatives so far.
*To clarify further, I’m all good with most other curses (shit, fuck, ass, etc). I’m not trying to be inoffensive, just non-religious.
What about fictional or ancient religious swears?
- by the power of Ra!
- may Zeus grant mercy
- by Grabthar’s hammer!
- thank Thor
When I’m in a gaming VC I sometimes swap in setting-appropriate swears.
What about political figures?
- thanks Obama
What about cringy internet/gaming references?
- God damn -> mods ban
- thank god -> thanks chat
I can do this all day!
~Chosen specialist subject.~Shitting biscuits!
Foamy gushing twat!
Wank spanner!
Rancid gobstopper!
Juicy fat ballsack!
Piss on a stick!
Sloppy jizz mop!
Spunky pus bucket!
Steaming shit stain!
Thirsty cock gobbler!
Greasy prick spasm!
Fuck a duck!
Crusty cum sock!
William H. tap-dancing Macy on a motherfucking motorcycle!
Retching cunt nugget!
Flacid spunk sock!
Mouldy knob cheese!
Pint of shart!
Gaping arse sleeve!
Pus-filled pussy pocket!My mom always hated god damnit so I started saying “Dang-ol’ dingus dangit” and it’s stuck for half my life.
Kid friendly, has a satisfying rhythm, silly enough to difuse some of the frustration, and usually gets a laugh
Fucking fuck
Fucking shit
Wtf
What the shit
Fuck me
I mean there are endless combinations
Sometimes simple is best.
Bob Saget
A classic
Rather than “god damn” I usually say “gods damn”. I’m not religious at all, but I’d rather someone mistake me for a polytheistic pagan than a Christian.
I thought the whole thing was that Christians weren’t the ones who use God as a swear word
One of their commandments is to not “take the Lord’s name in vain”. Modern Christians have interpreted this to mean not using the word ‘god’ as an interjection or swear. What was actually meant by it was to not use god as a justification for things that do not comport with god’s religious teachings. You know, like claiming god says you should hate trans people, or that god has chosen you personally to be in charge of everyone. You know, the exact thing Christians do all the fucking time.
I hold to both interpretations tbh
Blood and bloody ashes
“fuck me in the ass, that’s mildly inconvenient”
i mean, if you say so.
I feel you OP. I do feel silly saying “oh my god” as a reflex utterance considering I’m a lifelong Atheist lmao.
There’s gotta be something better than sarcastic takes like South Park saying “oh my science!”
Technically, it’s basically equivalent to “oh my god”, but the Vietnamese phrase Oi Troi Oi is outstanding
“oh my fauci”
“thank darwin”
Always some material from Bill Dance. First clip on this one
I’ll admit I lurked a bit to see if you’re US- based and it looks like you are. Maybe instead of “Jesus Christ” you can use “Abraham Lincoln?”
Like “Abraham fucking Lincoln in a cabin made of shit logs” could be a satisfactory expression of frustration.
Any name you can remember easily could work; Billy Crystal, Woody Guthrie, Greta Thunberg, even your neighbors or pets’ names.
The others will be a bit tough since they’re so ingrained in our culture but depending how “non-religious” you intend to be you can switch to “curse/hex” and wean yourself off of that into something more secular ¯\(ツ)/¯
I actually LOL’d at Billy Crystal
I think you may be the only commenter who actually read the post.
My favorite come from one of my favorite TV shows, Red Dwarf.
Smeg
Farscape also had a whole made up vocabulary like “frell” and “dren”.
Just say “fuck.”
Oh, I do. Shit, fuck, ass, etc. No problem with those, just don’t like religion hogging up neural pathways.
So replace “fudge” with “fuck.” Unfuck it all.
“Fudged” in the body wasn’t a swear replacement. I was using the word as a word.
I didn’t even realize that, I was just using it as an example.
My point is: don’t replace bullshit words with other bullshit words. Just use the normal words and stop pretending. Say fuck. Say shit. Say hell damn ass cunt. Tell anyone who decides to act offended to get over themselves.
tl;dr grow up.
