ITT: no discussion avout UK politics or the Green Party, only discussion about federation, the online safety act, and restricted files. Never change, lemmings!

IMPORTANT WORK IS BEING DONE!

Not me, but in the early days of Sainsbury’s delivery service, a friend had ordered lemons and they got subbed with lemon-scented washing-up liquid.

I use delivery. It means I can do my weekly shop while sitting on my arse at home instead of rubbing shoulders with hoi polloi.

4. But I don’t have a horse racing programme.

Can we round it up to under 60s? Actually, fuck old people (anyone older than me). Let’s just ban it.

Sure, Facebork keeps me in touch with old school friends and my second cousins, etc., but if we have a month’s warning we can exchange actual addresses and then not bother keeping in touch any more that way.

I can take the downvotes when I deserve them, so I’ve upvoted you for using the downvote correctly!

I don’t mind the use of chess as a shorthand for ‘battle of wits’ but I object to how badly written they usually are. Bad Genius hasn’t noticed, and isn’t expecting, a Queen sacrifice move by Good Genius? Please.

As bad as poker. Every round of poker in movies is a smorgasbord of high value hands:

“But can you beat a full house, Queens over nines?”
“I also have a full house, Kings over Jacks.”
“I have four 10s.”
“I have a Royal Flush.”
“I have six Aces.”

Everyone gasps!

Ah, yes, well. The healthy bit comes straight after ‘un’. It’s possible I didn’t read the question correctly.

Deep-fried macaroni pie. It’s a Scottish delicacy.

• Take macaroni cheese
• Encase it in a hot water pastry crust
• Dip it in batter
• Deep-fry it
• Put it inside a well-buttered morning roll
• Eat
• Die happy. Soon, but happy.

Mmm, carbilicious action.

That those forensics chaps can find the tiniest spatters of blood on your clothes, on your skin, and in your hair. And people make a lot of spatter.

I asked my French teacher what a comment he’d written at the bottom of one of my test papers said, because I couldn’t read it.

Apparently it said: “Your handwriting is atrocious.”

He refused to believe I wasn’t taking the piss out of him and I ended up having to ‘explain myself’ to the head.

You clearly cannot be trusted with the power of a full mug of tea.

You fucking cheapskate, OP, what about the carrot for the reindeer?

The whole of the TV show ‘Lost’ took place in the mind of a goose.

Oh, yes, that was it! Good times!

Trump invades Trumpland

FTFY

It’s been a long while but IIRC in one of the early Metal Gear Solid games there was a baddie who would threaten to (and could) corrupt your save file, completely breaking the fourth wall in the process.

It was a very faithful adaptation of the book, though.

The ‘80s Conan the Barbarian film with Arnie.

Utterly awesome soundtrack by Basil Poledouris.

Budget Dr. Who, aka Medical Student Who.