p0rkm4rkets

Lot of good advice here on how to make good decisions and strategic choices to make a better life for yourself.

But, I’m here to give a different perspective. I’m going to retire soon and I’ve never had a sensible career plan in my life that lasted. I’ve bounced from opportunity to opportunity like a piece of driftwood in the surf. I’ve made my career choices based on what seemed like a good idea at the time. I’ve been a company director, I’ve been broke and (fortunately only technically) homeless and everywhere in between. I’ve had stressful jobs and easy-going jobs. All of which is to say that plans are good but sometimes winging it can work out too.

The other thing I will say is that while I’ve worked some shit jobs and some great jobs, I’ve always done a good job regardless. I’ve treated bosses, colleagues, and subordinates fairly and honestly. So those opportunities I mentioned a paragraph ago, they came because people I’ve worked with were happy to work with me again.

A piece of two-by-four with a rusty nail in it.

Started poisoning people I don’t like.

ITT: no discussion avout UK politics or the Green Party, only discussion about federation, the online safety act, and restricted files. Never change, lemmings!

IMPORTANT WORK IS BEING DONE!

Not me, but in the early days of Sainsbury’s delivery service, a friend had ordered lemons and they got subbed with lemon-scented washing-up liquid.

I use delivery. It means I can do my weekly shop while sitting on my arse at home instead of rubbing shoulders with hoi polloi.

4. But I don’t have a horse racing programme.

They’re older shows, sir, but they check out.

Connections was the most mindblowing thing I’d ever seen. And I’d seen The Prisoner!

I don’t think I’ll ever stop feeling angry about this.

Same, same. Not so much for myself as for my children whose right to live, work, and love in the EU was taken away from them by a bunch of disaster capitalists.

Yes, but only for my favourite child. I couldn’t take the risk with the shit-head child in case the favourite child needed me to take a biullet later.

Can we round it up to under 60s? Actually, fuck old people (anyone older than me). Let’s just ban it.

Sure, Facebork keeps me in touch with old school friends and my second cousins, etc., but if we have a month’s warning we can exchange actual addresses and then not bother keeping in touch any more that way.

Ah, but if you were a movie-level genius you’d be brilliant at chess because all movie-level geniuses are brilliant at chess. Up until they fail to notice a Queen sacrifice play.

https://letmegooglethat.com/?q=hot+water+pastry+crust

https://letmegooglethat.com/?q=morning+roll

I can take the downvotes when I deserve them, so I’ve upvoted you for using the downvote correctly!

I don’t mind the use of chess as a shorthand for ‘battle of wits’ but I object to how badly written they usually are. Bad Genius hasn’t noticed, and isn’t expecting, a Queen sacrifice move by Good Genius? Please.

As bad as poker. Every round of poker in movies is a smorgasbord of high value hands:

“But can you beat a full house, Queens over nines?”
“I also have a full house, Kings over Jacks.”
“I have four 10s.”
“I have a Royal Flush.”
“I have six Aces.”

Everyone gasps!

Ah, yes, well. The healthy bit comes straight after ‘un’. It’s possible I didn’t read the question correctly.

Deep-fried macaroni pie. It’s a Scottish delicacy.

• Take macaroni cheese
• Encase it in a hot water pastry crust
• Dip it in batter
• Deep-fry it
• Put it inside a well-buttered morning roll
• Eat
• Die happy. Soon, but happy.

Mmm, carbilicious action.

That those forensics chaps can find the tiniest spatters of blood on your clothes, on your skin, and in your hair. And people make a lot of spatter.

I asked my French teacher what a comment he’d written at the bottom of one of my test papers said, because I couldn’t read it.

Apparently it said: “Your handwriting is atrocious.”

He refused to believe I wasn’t taking the piss out of him and I ended up having to ‘explain myself’ to the head.