I’ve never wanted kids, it’s just not my thing. I’ve been thinking about getting a vasectomy for quite a while now, and I finally decided to take the next step. I called a clinic, went in for a consultation, and the doctor explained everything thoroughly. My procedure is scheduled for a little over two weeks from today. My family is strongly against it. They believe I’ll change my mind as I get older and end up regretting it.
Looking back, I realize I was pretty immature at 22. It didn’t feel that way at the time, but it sure does now. These days, 18‑year‑olds look like kids to me.
I didn’t want kids back then, and I still don’t - but my perspective has shifted a little. When I see parents now, there’s a slight melancholic feeling that comes with knowing that’s something I’ll probably never experience.
So yeah, if you’re 30 and don’t want kids, that’s probably not going to change. Before that, though, there’s always a chance.
something I’ll probably never experience.
Fostering and adopting is a thing. And can be just as, if not more, rewarding.
Over the years I have unofficially fostered a few kids, run aways that I took In and their parents realized it was better for them to stay with me rather than forcing them home to run away again to who knows where this time.
I see one of them from time to time around town and always tells me about work and his girl friend, no I do not have the same relationship with him as I do my own kids, but he only lived with me for 6 months, and that time greatly improved his home situation.
I’ve done this unofficial fostering myself. I make sure that I don’t claim all ”my” kids, they are still their own individuals and have all rights to connect with their families and cultures. I love my kids, both bio and not. I wouldn’t want to be without them. But I still am sure I should have had other options achieved when I was younger. So I concur with the commenter I replied to now and OP. Don’t let family pressure fuck your life up.
Can fully agree and would even say wait until 32
I don’t think it’s too young…If you don’t want kids at this point in your life and know that this desire to not have children will persist, get the vasectomy. Having to deal with an unwanted pregnancy is far more of a hassle than getting a vasectomy! Based on what you’ve said, it seems like you’ve thought about this enough to make the decision.
You cannot know if that feeling will persist. Sorry to nitpick, but young people cannot fathom how their views and perspectives might change as they age. They might not, sure. But usually they do. And 22 is so damn young.
I’m early 30s and my wife is pregnant with our first.
Before I met her 5+ years ago I had no interest in kids, not to the point of considering a vasectomy but I didn’t want kids. I planned to travel and do your typical no responsibility shenanigans. It was clean pretty early on she wanted kids and that really got me thinking what I actually wanted out of life. I’m happy I didn’t end it over kids and I’m super excited to go through this with not only her but a child. The plan is to have more than one and I’m 100% excited for this.
All of that being said, if things went differently, I’d still be happy living a no kids life. My opinion never really changed, I’m almost 99% sure I’ll avoid other peoples kids but I’m also excited for mine.
Congratulation! You’ll be a great dad. :)
Yeah but 22 year olds aren’t just stupid children. Very young adults, but still adults. Perspectives can always change, so with that mentality, never do anything cause you might change your mind later.
If vasectomies were 100% permanent, I might agree more. But 22 is not too young to make a decision like this.
As a young lad, I knew with certainty and after great contemplation how solid my desires were; one of mine was to never have kids, as I know myself well enough that I love my time alone and freedom to do as I pleased without being tied down by children. Other young men can know, if they are given the freedom and space to contemplate their decisions; to examine their thoughts and reasons for wanting to do something before committing to said decision. He’s an adult by law, as long as he has weighed the positives and negatives of this decision…It is his to make.
Nobody is telling him what to do. He explicitly asked for our opinions and that’s what he’s getting.
Yeah, I amended my comment…I get overzealous when it comes to defending personal autonomy and free will.
Better to address the change in desire to have a kid in a decade or two than having to deal both an unwanted pregnancy up to that point.
Getting your sperm frozen has a yearly cost to it that most 22 year old would be unlikely to want to upkeep. There is also a finite shelf life to that I believe.
I knew by 22 I never wanted kids. Annoying, noisy, messy, and expensive.
But I listened to everyone around me saying I’d change my mind.
Got snipped at 35, mostly due to the scares and the extra risk to my SO due to recent law changes (abortion being made illegal).
We (my SO and I) both agree I should have just done it sooner, and not listened to everyone claiming my opinions would change.
Everyone tells younger men the same thing it seems. I heard the same bullshit from the time I started talking about it (vasectomy) as a teen. 35 now and nothing has changed, living the dink life with my wife and it’s great. Boomer parents aren’t too thrilled with the idea of 0 grandkids between their two sons, but that’s not my job… Might have felt a little sorry for them if they didn’t vote the way they do… But it’s those choices that have led us to an environment that makes it too difficult to even consider bringing kids into, and it seems it’s only getting worse.
Yup. They created this shit ass unaffordable world.
Negative. I got mine at 23, but only because it took me five years to find a doctor who would perform it.
Good luck. Also, the recovery times are very serious.
And everyone is different (duh), but there has been a complete absence of regret. Added bonus: my partners have been very appreciative that the onus of birth control is not on them.
Did you have a rough recovery? I was sore for a few days but I thought it was a breeze, all things considered.
Not at all. I would have had it done at 18 in hindsight, but did it in my later 20s. It was bar none the best $50 I’ve ever spent. I’ve known my entire life that I didn’t want to be a parent, and for me that feeling only compounded as I got older. Couple that with the current world situation and local political climate and uncertainty, and it reaffirms my choice.
Technically it is reversible, but I would consider a permanent fix. Regardless, wrap your dick because vasectomies don’t block STDs.
After it was done, instead of a baby shower, we threw a Balls Voyage party and my best friends and siblings all played yard games, grilled and drank. We popped a gender reveal balloon filled with dollar sign confetti. It was a blast.
No. I had to wait until I was 25 before they would let me. I’m quite a bit older now and have never even slightly regretted it.
It is potentially possible to reverse. Although its an expensive surgery with low chances of success to get it reversed. I think its also possible to directly extract sperm for artificial insemination but I’m not aware of that method being commercialized.
I personally didn’t want kids until ~30something and would have regretted having done so (and had seriously considered it). Everyone’s different, though 🤷♂️ there’s always adoption or donors if you change your mind
Yo, I had a vasectomy at 31, but then loads of stuff happened and at 33 I met my now wife… and spent $12,000 australian reversing the vasectomy… I was CERTAIN I didn’t want kids.
Just a thought…
That said, I still don’t regret having the vasectomy. I do regret the money lost.
Do it, but freeze a sample just in case. I didn’t think I wanted any more after I had my first two, but now I do want another one and the doctor said a reversal is pretty much paying $8k to flip a coin. If you die with your sample still on ice, who cares? At least you had the option.
Yeah 22 is probably a little young. Just wrap that willy bro
At 22 I thought I had it all figured out.
Now coming up on 32 I look back and think geeze what a dumb arse I was at times.
I’m sure when I’m 42 I’ll think I was dumb now, but a lot had maturing happened for me during my 20s. I would hold off until 30s at least
As a 48 year old expecting his first child, I can confirm that you will always look back and think this and I’m certain I will again in the future.
OP, don’t rush to make these decisions even if there is a good chance that you won’t change your mind. There are medicines that are very close (or maybe available now?) that will achieve some of the same benefits without surgery. There might be a smarter choice for you if you take your time with this decision.
Congratulations on the child, I just found out this morning I’m having a son also my first child.
no, bodily autonomy has no age limit.
if you let your family decide on your body then you’re gonna grow resentful of them over time. what’s next, telling you who you’re allowed to date?
I got my Vasectomy at 26. I wanted it sooner, but insurance sucks.
I believe firmly that regret is something you make yourself feel or are made to feel. So your family members don’t regret having kids because they haven’t been made to regret that decision.
I haven’t told my family about my snip because I think they would have tried to make me regret it.
That makes sense to me because they want that constant reassurance that their decision was correct. So someone NOT making that decision means it may not have been correct.
If you wanna talk about it more, I’d happily chat with you and be the support you’re not getting.
First off, thank you for ejaculating responsibility. If more men ejaculated as responsibly as you the world would be a better place. You might be on the young side but vasectomies’ are now reversible with a 90%+ rate. So freeze some sperm for a decade or so if you are really worried about it. So you have some options if you want kids in the future.
So freeze some sperm for a decade or so
Please tell me you didn’t get these ice cubes from the GREEN tray!
Why does your ice taste so odd?
They can also just go into your balls and get sperm.
People forget this lol you still have your balls.
I got a vasectomy at 25. I wanted one ever since I was 17. It’s now 3.5 years after the procedure and I’m very happy with it. People always fear monger over wHaT iF yOu cHaNgE yOuR mInD. And sure I guess that’s something that could happen. But as another commenter said, it’s a reversible procedure with a high success rate. Adoption is also a possibility. If that doesn’t work for whatever reason then you could always ask a family member to donate sperm so it’s still genetically close to you if that’s important. I’ve never regretted my decision but I did also go into that decision aware of my alternatives if for some reason a reversal didn’t work.
