I don’t know about you guys but the few times I tried holy wafers (I’m not religious but had friends who were) I found them to be almost paper thin. These crispies are much thicker
These might be the deluxe ones, like Monster energy wafers. You know the commercials, “You only need 3.7 seconds for a whole mass baby!”
Jesus has been working out lately, his body is pumped.
It’s just if you pay more you get more of his body.
Midwestern edition, made into squares with marshmallows perhaps?
My favorite joke after communion was asking for a toothpick because “I’ve got some Jesus stuck in my teeth”.
Does swallowing these count as deep-throating God?
I’ve been an atheist for all of my life, but somehow I got handed one of those Jesus chips as a child, and I must say I was not impressed.
Before it was a Jesus chip, people used to eat it as regular food. I think some people in the world still do. Though I think they use it more for dipping in things or something. It’s just a vehicle.
I’m atheist but my mom sung in choirs so I’ve been to some masses. I got curious what everyone was cueing up for was disappointed. Also only the pastor gets the wine. Somehow the body was necessary comestibles but the blood is optional.
The Cool Ranch flavor is better
Lmfao does the Catholic Church just go absolutely horrible on everything?
I grew up in the ELCA and we had homemade fresh baked bread every communion. It was amazing. The wine was less so so I always took grape juice (even had an old lady say “you can have the wine, the grape juice is for recovering alcoholics.” I responded with, at 13, “I am a recovering alcoholic.” The look on her face was priceless)
Whatever you do, don’t stick your tongue out like a rock star with Jesus on your tongue. I’ve found this upsets the nuns. Well maybe it was just me that upset the nuns. A young atheist in a Catholic school was interesting.
I hated going to catholic church growing up. The only thing I hated more than church was CCD after school. Fuck religion fuck that indoctrinating bullshit fuck that tradition.
I took no particular offense to it, because I was brought up Catholic but also to love queer people and accept them fully and that abortion was fine, so I was ignoring all their social bugaboos all along, but when I finished school I realized a volcel in a dress had nothing to say to a young girl, and my priest’s brother was my high school chaplain who was gay as a day in May but in the closet, and they lived together in this grim sexless loveless house together until the chaplain died and the priest went to be a bishop in the North where he whittled out his days until his forced retirement at 75. He wrote some choice words about Pride parades, which I wish I would have known about when it happened because I would have fought back because his brother deserved his respect.
