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The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.world to Funny@sh.itjust.works · 1 day ago

When you marry someone who thinks ahead

lemmy.world

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When you marry someone who thinks ahead

lemmy.world

The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.world to Funny@sh.itjust.works · 1 day ago
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  • chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    15 hours ago

    Peanut butter may last 6–24 months unopened, or 2–3 months once opened. Natural peanut butters lack preservatives and may last several months unopened, or up to a month once opened.

    Even if you have unlimited temperature controlled bugproof storage space this is a terrible idea

    • pappabosley@lemm.ee
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      13 hours ago

      It’s only a 2 month supply

  • spooky2092@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    16 hours ago

    That gonna go rancid before the first barrel is emptied.

  • Eyedust@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    19 hours ago

    This is probably like… number one on the “my partner might be a doomsday prepper” checklist.

  • Lovable Sidekick@lemmy.world
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    18 hours ago

    Then you find out rancid PBJs are 50% off this week.

  • Panamalt@sh.itjust.works
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    1 day ago

    Going by the spillage, that stuff is already fuckin rancid as hell

    • skribe@aussie.zone
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      1 day ago

      Nah, it’s just crunchy.

      • Smee@poeng.link
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        19 hours ago

        Crusty

      • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        23 hours ago

        crunchy and ‘spicey’

  • ChanchoManco@lemm.ee
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    20 hours ago

    That’s not nearly enough for a lifetime

    • Smee@poeng.link
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      19 hours ago

      A single jar is more than enough for a lifetime.

      • Ephera@lemmy.ml
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        18 hours ago

        Especially, if you’re allergic.

    • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
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      19 hours ago

      If you ate all of it at once it would definitely last a lifetime. Especially if you have a peanut allergy!

  • Tudsamfa@lemmy.world
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    23 hours ago

    I have to imagine this peanut butter was intended to feed animals, probably for hunting.

    So it isn’t even particularly sweet and processed at a lower standard than the stuff the husband was used to. But what do I know, maybe he always intended to bait hogs with it.

    • Liz@midwest.social
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      16 hours ago

      Added sugar to peanut butter is an affront to the mighty peanut. Just grind that shit pure and smack it in your mouth like nature intended.

      • ObtuseDoorFrame@lemm.ee
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        15 hours ago

        Damn straight. Peanut butter is the best tasting food in existence and adding sugar to it is wildly insulting.

    • MimicJar@lemmy.world
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      19 hours ago

      probably for hunting.

      Who needs a machine gun? For hunting.

      Who needs $600 worth of peanut butter? For hunting.

      Take my peanut butter away?

      From my warm sticky hands!

      • Smee@poeng.link
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        19 hours ago

        Am I weird for wanting a machinegun that shoots hogs at peanut butter?

    • 1ostA5tro6yne@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      17 hours ago

      it’s on /r/AmIOverreacting, i think it’s safe to assume the story is false

  • Etterra@discuss.online
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    1 day ago

    So you’re going to die this year? Because peanut butter has a way shorter expiration date than he seems you think. Though if you eat that much peanut butter in a year, so do y’all.

    • klao@sh.itjust.works
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      1 day ago

      • mmddmm@lemm.ee
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        24 hours ago

        That hing on their hands… It doesn’t look like a spoon.

        • M137@lemmy.world
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          19 hours ago

          that word in your comment, doesn’t look like a thing.

          • samus12345@lemm.ee
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            17 hours ago

            “Thank you, Hing!”

    • Smee@poeng.link
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      19 hours ago

      Would old peanut butter kill ya? Perhaps that’s what they mean by “a lifetime supply”?

  • WhiteOakBayou@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    I think I’m overpaying for peanut butter

    • ☂️-@lemmy.ml
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      19 hours ago

      buying in bulk is definetly cheaper

  • psmgx@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    Probably 2/3 of the way to racid already, smh

    • dependencyinjection@discuss.tchncs.de
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      23 hours ago

      Racid? Do you mean rancid?

      • thermal_shock@lemmy.world
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        22 hours ago

        He meant racist.

  • AnimalsDream@slrpnk.net
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    15 hours ago

    Going to be honest. I was looking into sources of bulk organic goods and saw that Eden Foods sells 55 gallon barrels of soy sauce for roughly $3,000. Far beyond justifying for any pay I’ve ever had, but for how much soy sauce I go through it is tempting that it’s there.

    But then again I opted not to buy anything from that company because the founder is very openly Catholic, and I don’t know what their political leanings are. I’d rather not accidentally support another Hobby Lobby if I can avoid it.

  • magnetosphere@fedia.io
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    1 day ago

    My answer depends heavily on whether it’s chunky or creamy

    • sbv@sh.itjust.works
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      1 day ago

      finally, someone asking the right questions

  • MTK@lemmy.world
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    19 hours ago

    So potentially I can have a PB bath for around 100$? Neat

    • Captain Aggravated@sh.itjust.works
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      16 hours ago

      Hi Bixby, can you bathe in peanut butter?

  • hOrni@lemmy.world
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    24 hours ago

    Like that guy who bought 40 pounds of parmesan for 10 bucks.

    • bizarroland@fedia.io
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      21 hours ago

      Can you imagine how buff the Olive Garden server’s arms would get?

  • xor@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    23 hours ago

    he’s planning a murder/suicide involving peanut butter

    • The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.worldOP
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      23 hours ago

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