For example: Windows --> Windoze, Winblows
Giant Tiger= Giant Welfare
The next two are my brother’s, I don’t eat there but I find them hilarious :
KFC = Yucky Tucky
McD = Rotten Ronnie’s
“Crap made by slaves” for most goods sold here in the US. It’s not always true, but total disregard almost every company with cases of proven forced labor of innocent people including women and children it’s easier for me to write it all off as fucked up to buy. It’s also all made to breakdown into known toxic waste soon enough to force you to buy more soon.
“Sugar water” for sweet tea soda and filtered juices.
“Advertised burger” for anything that I know sucks but for no good reason I really crave some gut wrenching to fastfood.
“Internet of Stings” is a good stallmanism.
“Unmanned ground drone” for a waymo or anything it. The cameras just creep me out.
“Children electrocutioners” for ChicFila
“Relic looters” for hobby lobby
“The company that stole 300 bucks from me” for local crooked car dealer ship that stole 300 bucks from me.
I hate ads because they make these horrible places seem normal, so I try my best at anti advertising.
Taco Bell -> Toxic Hell
Jack in the Box -> Jack in the Sock
In Québec, so in Frenglish: Wal-Mart --> All-Marde (All-Shit)
I recently learned about Québecois cursing using every item in a church. They must have some hilarious-sounding mock names for companies there.
Superstore = Stupidstore
Microsoft = Microcrap
Google = Goofle
Kraft Dinner = Crap Dinner
Windows OS = Windoze
X = Twitter
Canadian Tire = Crappy Tire
Really a fan of the word “crap”, I see.
Crap is awesome
Goofle. Takes the evil out of the name, but still makes fun of it, so I’m for it.
Cici’s Pizza -> Feces Pizza
Microsoft -> Mrkvošrot (slovakian for “carrot scrap”)
Kemically Fried Children
Dead Lobster
Pizza Slut
Windoze
Pizza Slut actually sounds like a friendly nickname.
Could be name of a dang good pizza place actually.
I’d eat that triangle. :P
“Esos hijos de puta” /s
Almost all of them are in spanish, since it’s my first language…
- Steve Jobs -> Esteban Trabajos
- Bill Gates -> Recibo Puertas
- Mark Zuckerberg -> Mark Zuckerbergas
- Elon Musk -> Elon Cucks
- Nintendo -> Nientiendo
- YouTube -> Tu Tubo
- Facebook -> Cara Libro
- Tiktok -> Tique Toque
- Microsoft -> Mocosoft
- Toyota -> Totoya
- SQL Server -> Ese culiao Server
- Coca-Cola -> Caca-Culo
- Pepsi -> Pepno
- Dr. Pepper -> Dr. Pooper
This will be open to edit to add more.
Some of these are legit funny and I barely speak the language. Thanks for sharing!
Pepsi -> Pepno
Okay, that one got me.
I love getting insight into how people mess with language in other languages.
Muy Buenos todos pero perdón por ser “ese” usuario. Bill Gates es técnicamente Facturo Cercas
Sí, es el único con el tengo problemas. Otro nombre que le tengo es “Cuenta (como la de un restaurante, “bill”) Puertas”
Boogersoft lool
Tesla --> Swasticars
I like this one. The memes coming out of his Nazi salute were pretty good.
X = xitter, said “shitter”
I say Twitter because Elon deadnames his children so I will deadname his platform.
Someone is trying to take over the twitter name to start a new platform: https://www.twitter.new/
I want to see Elon lose the Twitter name and be stuck with X. It’s going to be so much fun watching that happen.
Oh, I use “Twatter”.
Or Twitter users: Twits.
It has been the toiletbowl of the world for years. Never was a “townsquare”.
The classic Ford -> Fix Or Repair Daily
My favorite is
Found
On
Road
DeadFucked
Over
Rebuilt
Dodge
Citrix -> Shitrix
Yes, I’ve had the displeasure. Good one.
Whole foods -> Whole paycheck
We used to call it whole booze. Because for some foolish reason, the one in our colege town used to put giant displays of wine (like a full wall of cases of the cheap stuff) in the automatic door vestibule.
So it was pretty common to see a car zoom up, and a couple kids jump out, grab a couple cases and then peel out driving off.
Windows, with it’s numerable AI and cloud integrations, has morphed itself into a “Sloperating System” and I refuse to call it anything else.
