I’ll go first. My ex cheated on me with a dude, (I’m les, she’s bi,) brought home chlamydia and bed bugs, then after 13 years of no contact, texts me randomly to try and pull me into an MLM pyramid scheme.
I’ll go first. My ex cheated on me with a dude, (I’m les, she’s bi,) brought home chlamydia and bed bugs, then after 13 years of no contact, texts me randomly to try and pull me into an MLM pyramid scheme.
Caught her cheating, and when I broke up with her she refused and stabbed me with a fork. I have 4 little scars but one of the fork tines was slightly bent so they don’t line up perfectly
“I’m done! Stick a fork in me!”
So your skin is perpetually mildlyinfuriating? What a terrible place for a curse.
That would irritate me more than getting forked in the first place.
Guy I met had a scar like that on the back of his hand. Story was he had four brothers, all big guys. Mom would put the food on the table, but no one was allowed to take anything until they said grace. One night it was steaks, and they weren’t all the same size. When grace was done, they all went for a big steak with their forks. He was in first, but his brother ended up stabbing the back of his hand with his.
The fucked up and kind of funny part was that his brother’s reaction was to bring the guy’s hand over to his own plate by pulling it with his fork, and wiggling it until the steak fell off the fork onto the plate.
Yup, that’s the basic feral energy I picture for a family with 5 boys.
I’m dad enough to suspect that my reaction to the stabbing would be “what the fork??”
And I’m 'tismo enough to seek corrective surgery to make sure the marks from the fork tines were in line.
If 'tismo is to mean autistic, that’s fucking beautiful and I’m stealing it.
The idea had crossed my mind once or twice, or extending the other three scars to match at the very least. But thankfully time has passed and they have faded now and it’s hard to notice
Please tell me she yelled “fork you”
Maybe she was also finalizing the relationship by sticking a fork in you because y’all were done.
I hope you filed a police report for assault and pressed charges. Looks like you dodged a bullet.
but not the fork…
Ha! Beat you by a minute!
He never had his car
Dodged the bullet, didn’t see the fork hah. I was young so I just ignored it, although looking back maybe it would have been for the best to report it. Maybe she would have gotten the help she needed.
But they should have dodged the fork…
The scarring sounds funny, are you willing to share a pic of it?