Most of my life I have been an attentive, giving and generous man. At 60, I’m surprised at how self-centered have become.
54, that I’m still here.
33 and surprised how childlike I still feel.
41 and I’m surprised I’m not more crazy spending as much time alone as I do
That I’m alive. Didn’t want to keep going past high school graduation. Now I’m 30 and not sure what keeps me going tbh. Most likely just fear of death.
I was there for a bit a few years ago, funny enough this song kind of helped.
Still no idea what I want to do when I grow up. And im already thinking about retirement.
I’m 55. I was a potato couch until 47. Then I discovered the outdoors, the mountains, the sea, the rivers. Turns out I hated gyms not exercise and I am passionate about nature.
I was never interested in clothes. Then I found out about second hand stores. Turns out I hated current fast fashion, not clothes.
I used to argue a lot, now I don’t bother. Some people do not deserve the compliment of rational opposition.
I was a potato couch
😅
I needed to hear that bit about the compliment - thanks!
I’m surprised by how much I know. It perhaps shouldn’t be surprising given that I have both autism and ADHD and that makes me enthusiastic about learning basically everything, but I’m chuffed with how well rounded my knowledge is.
I studied biochemistry at university, but over the last 5 years or so, I’ve been doing a lot more reading in topics like the history and philosophy of science, philosophy more generally, political theory, disability theory, queer theory, economics, design, programming etc… My knowledge in each of these areas is relatively shallow, but I seem to be pretty good at forming lateral links between things I know, which means I can be quite fun to have in depth discussions with. It helps that I got a hell of a lot smarter when I stopped being so attached to my identity as a smart person and learned how to say “no, I haven’t heard of $thing, tell me more” or “I think I’ve heard of that, but I’m not sure — remind me?”
A year or so ago, a friend who studied English called me “well read” and it gave me a bit of an existential crisis. “But I don’t actually fully read most of the books I talk about. Many of them I just skim them until I find a chapter or two that’s most useful to me!”. Turns out that that kind of reading strategy is typical of people who are well read.
My late best friend was a historian, and one of the things I loved about our friendship is arguing with him about random shit. His background meant he often approached an issue in a completely different way to me, and we’d often ask questions or make points that would require the other to go away and think about it for a while before forming a response. I think he’d be really proud of me (and also aggravatingly smug due to him being a significant driving force behind me getting more into history).
Just how alone I’ve made myself. I had many opportunities for it not be this way, yet here I am.
That I’m alive I guess? Didn’t expect to make it to 15,now almost 30.
Everything is still shit, but I got older instead of dead.
That I’m actually married to a woman I love and who loves me.
When I was 20 I thought I’d die a sad virgin.
When I was 30 I thought I was incapable of sustaining a relationship.
Turns out there are other people who are asbrokenweird as me, some of them are women, and one of them was the right one for me.That I’m my age. I’m in my late thirties, but sometimes I still feel like I’m nineteen.
I remember over 10 years ago that my physics teacher said: “You never stop feeling young, you just see the symptoms”
Same. I turn 40 next year, and remember my dad at that age, but still feel like a kid.
Mid-thirties and I’ve been crushing on people like I’m 16 again.
I’m in my 40s but, in a general sense, I’m still 25 in my mind. I’m a bit wiser than when I was actually 25 though.
That gives me hope that in ten years I’ll stop feeling like I’m thirteen lol
At 55 I’m astounded just how quickly my body changed. And not for the better.
My whole life I was one of those hyper kids with the metabolism of a hummingbird. I could rely on seemingly limitless energy to get me through my day. I looked half my age. I could subsist almost exclusively on sugar and caffeine. I’m not sure exactly when, but I feel like I woke up one morning and it was just gone. Like I lost a fucking bet or something.
I loved being skinny, and I’m not “fat” by anyone’s definition, but this absolutely a dad bod now. I need to watch what I eat and take supplements. I get sore for no apparent reason. And I’d be okay with that if I at least had the stamina and energy that I used to, but I don’t even have that anymore. There are days I just feel straight up fucking frail.
I stay active. I work full time in a physically demanding job and I’ve got a 4 year old who keeps me on my toes. I don’t remember my parents complaining about this when they were in their 50’s. Makes me wonder what I’m doing wrong.
Not sure if you’re genuinely asking at the end there, but you’re probably not doing anything wrong!
As someone who is not a doctor (check with one and go with what they say): you’re at the age where sarcopenia starts accelerating rapidly. And from your description it sounds like the most likely cause for your symptoms. It affects basically everyone so this is somewhat of a safe assumption
The good news is you can pretty much totally reverse all the effects with resistance training and a couple diet changes to support your training. What we’ve found is that many people even up into their 80’s can be restored to strength similar to that of an average (untrained) 30 year old. Which is a supermassive win in terms of quality of life and independence
The bad news is that about 90% of people hear “exercise and eat healthy” and just roll their eyes like it’s a cliché, unobtainable ideal that everyone knows they should do but nobody does. Or they think they are already doing it, but they don’t realize they need resistance training specifically. It’s also common for people to believe they have somehow “missed the boat” on training because they aren’t twenty anymore (I’ve even heard 28 year olds say this).
But the therapeutic dose for training is very attainable. Don’t need to become a gym bro. Don’t need to obsess over gains. Like 2x a week, one hour each, could probably get it done in 40 mins once you really know what you’re doing. And it’s very worth doing, you get back the time investment about tenfold just from the increase in energy
But yeah, just wanted to throw it out there for you or for anybody feeling the same way who might end up thinking they want to give training a chance! For disclosure I am a trainer at a local gym but I don’t have an online service or anything to sell on lemmy. As such I’m happy to answer any questions and offer suggestions on how to get started
Well dude, I looked over your reply, read up on sarcopenia, and made a few decisions.
I don’t feel the type of severe fatigue or weaknesses that I read about, but I can absolutely agree that doing some resistance exercises and adding more protein to my diet would be wise, so I’ll be doing that.
I’ve got therapy bands at home already, so it’s just a matter of finding a set of exercises to get started on. I appreciate the advice.
Here you go man: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L08vWPkMftQ
I watched that some time back when I was rehabbing with bands, and it’s got a ton of resistance band exercises you can do for a full body workout. Find the motions that work for you and go for it.
Consider kettlebells as well going forward. I’m in my mid-forties now, and I lifted weights a lot between 30 and 40 to the exclusion of a lot of other options, and found over time the injuries and joint pain rack up. Over the last few years I’ve leaned into more cardio and kettlebell work for explosive movements and keeping a lot of that natural motion and mobility compared to static lifting. Heck, I even got back into playing Dance Dance Revolution (via ITGMania on PC and a cheap dance mat). It’s a lot of fun, and somehow, my knees haven’t murdered me in my sleep yet. 😂
Right on! Best of luck to you
Again no pressure or expectations or anything, just throwing some stuff out there for whoever may be curious - The basic thing with exercise selection is you want to make sure “the big six” are represented somewhere in your routine each week. These are movement patterns, and not specific exercises with specific implements (you could use bodyweight, or dumbbells, or barbells, or a machine, or rig up one of your resistance bands, or a bucket of water, or a big rock, etc.)
The big six are namely:
Horizontal push (like a bench press, or a chest fly, or pushups)
Horizontal pull (like a seated row)
Vertical push (like an overhead press)
Vertical pull (like pull-ups, or lat pulldowns)
Squat (like goblet squats, or lunges)
Hinge (like deadlifts, RDLs, back extensions, or hip thrusts)
There’s really about a thousand ways to set up for each of these! You’ll notice that any “proven” program you find online will have something from each category. You probably also want to add some core (crunches, leg lifts) and some cardio like the other user suggested. Stuff like bicep curls, leg extensions, and other single joint isolation movements are great if you want to focus a particular area. Not a huge priority though if you’re tight on time
The main thing is, whatever the specific exercises you end up going with - you want these movements to be performed safely, but at the same time still be quite challenging, so make sure to carefully check a technique video if you have any doubts. You also want a way to “scale” the movement over time as you get stronger
Rule of thumb is you want to aim for a resistance you can perform at least ten repetitions with, and when you get strong enough to where you can do like 17 or 18 reps then increase the resistance a little bit and start the process over. Most people will notice this process starts to slow down a lot after a year or two - there’s really no pressure to keep chasing higher numbers after this point unless you just really love pushing yourself!
Oh, and you also probably want to perform 2 or 3 sets of each exercise before moving on to the next.
There’s tons of valid ways to progress but this one is pretty foolproof. After a few months, if you’re very confident with a movement pattern you can start using heavier rep ranges like 8-12 or 6-10. Or you can go lighter if it’s more convenient for your setup. Pretty much any rep range works between 5 and 30
And yeah for food basically just get your veggies, reasonable amount of carbs and fats, and shoot for a decent protein goal, usually like 70-100g per day is plenty, it’s okay to go higher though if that feels better. Eat a little more or a little less food overall if you want your weight to go up or down. Be really really really careful with any nutritional suggestions that are more complicated than that. There’s an unlimited amount of scammers out there, unfortunately, who will try to sell you on various schemes
This is very good, and it’s also worth noting that the benefits can also come from aerobic exercise; and if your joints or back are an issue for waking/running, consider cycling or swimming. Ideally, I think one would do a mixture of both resistance training and steady-state cardio; then later, if fit enough, some HIIT. Worth noting I think that when it comes to something as intensive on the body as going through chemotherapy, strong studies suggest pretty big benefits, which would apply to anyone with energy-based issues, presumably.
The beauty of light aerobic is that to get the benefits of increased energy, you can need only do light aerobic activity that is (a) easy to recover from, and (b) increase mitochondria count, and © lowers your weight which translates to a myriad of downstream benefits including less energy consumed at baseline throughout your day.
Cardio is good for almost everyone (ramp into it slowly if it’s been many years!). I would note however that while the benefits overlap, they are not the same. I focus my outreach on resistance training (anaerobic exercise) primarily because it’s often overlooked and misunderstood. I would hope nobody walks away from this thinking they can do either resistance training or sessions on an exercise bike and achieve all the same health outcomes
I’d like to suggest they may be more complementary than strictly achieving the same, which seems like why most studies suggest trying to perform a mixture. Of course, something is better than nothing relative to your interest and limitations! (eg, arthritis, joint issues, preexisting conditions etc.)
Speaking only for myself, I definitely feel the best mentally and physically when balancing the two. And if I happen to take a break from both, boy, does my mental state nose-dive within 2 weeks.
Just chiming in to reinforce Carmelians point that the sarcopoenia in particular is a highly likely aetiological predisposing factor for OP’s described experience (as noted, for a male >50yoa it’s pretty much a given), and strength/resistance training is the only realistic compensating strategy. You’re correct that they don’t achieve the same, and that both are required, and that something is better than nothing. But its also true that the strength component seems to be more overlooked in the popular approaches to the vicissitudes of aging, so bears particular emphasis
Definitely, yeah you didn’t say anything wrong! I just try to aim for max clarity on the point. I hear frequently from trainees IRL and people on various forums that they thought they didn’t need to train lower body because it was already covered by running or whatever.
It’s become a pet peeve of mine so I try to nip it in the bud whenever possible!
Absolutely! I admittedly fell for this for many years as a runner, but these days I do just some light/moderate squats, leg extensions, curls, alongside sprints/inclines, etc. and it’s made a big difference! Especially in stability.
This person speaks truth
I feel like I’m you about two decades behind, so this concerns me lol. I’ve always been thin, always high metabolism, and generally have a ton of energy.
However I will say: The first time I’ve experienced true, relentless fatigue was with raising a child lol. You just can’t turn your brain off and consistent, quality sleep tends to be a thing of the past. There’s just damage done when you get that much consistent sleep loss. You can’t just “catch up” without some damage being done, I think.
My goals to age as best as I can (and know that I will inevitably fail at some point) is to remain pretty physically active especially in terms of aerobic exercise. I’ll stick with my whole foods plant-based diet that has worked well for me for going on 20 years now, and doing my best to lower my stress with hobbies and family, etc.
Ever considered having your testosterone checked?
Second
That’s late night TV bullshit.
What do you mean? Yeah I’m not one to suggest people need to be roiding up or anything, and usually low T levels is indicative of some other upstream issue whether deficiency, lack of fitness, socialization, exercise, etc., but it’s worth checking with doctor.
It’s often an upstream issue, and I’m not keen on people who suggest men in middle age (40s, 50s) should automatically jump to supplementing testosterone. I had low T for a while and it turned out it was due to a vitamin B deficiency (I’m a T2 Diabetic and my medication basically leeches vitamin B from my body, as well as blocking absorption). Started supplementing vitamin B and eating more foods with vitamin B and the next two tests over several months went from low, to the lower end of “normal” range, and seemed to be steadily increasing back to normal.
In particular, if one’s testosterone level is low, then the next step is to see an endocrinologist. They will run an additional battery of tests to trace down exactly what is going wrong. In my case, they essentially concluded that my brain was sending out the correct signal, but it was not driving the correct response, so they prescribed a once a month injectable medication to supplement it directly.
I was told exactly the same thing years ago but admittedly never followed up with the Endocrinologist (many reasons). Like I was surging LH, but the response in the nethers wasn’t there.
The good news is bloodwork on a later routine visit showed my T levels seemed pretty normal.
Out of curiosity did your endocrinologist have any theories why this disruption between messaging and production was occurring?
Out of curiosity did your endocrinologist have any theories why this disruption between messaging and production was occurring?
I can’t remember if she had a theory or not beyond what I said, only that the additional tests did not identify the cause as being something else going wrong that could be treated directly, leaving testosterone supplementation as the best option.
@SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca
@uhmbah@lemmy.ca @gigastasio@sh.itjust.works @shittydwarf@piefed.social
I had a host of symtpoms that could be attributed to low testosterone, or depression, or a couple of other things. I went to my GP and asked for blood tests, to include testosterone & kidney function.
My testosterone is fine (upper end of normal range) so NOW my GP & I can direct efforts towards what the actual problems are rather than wonder about low testosterone as a cause.
It’s a reasonable thing to have tested as low testosterone for men over 50 most definitely can be a source of problems.
No, if your testosterone level is low then it can definitely affect energy levels, so it is worth checking up on it. The “late night TV bullshit” only starts if the test says your testosterone is within the normal range for your age, but you decide to supplement it anyway.
Not true; keep reading
(nearing my 60s). What surprises me about myself:
- To still be alive. I have severe (non-curable) health issues + I narrowly escaped dead once already, that was a few years ago. Given that, I consider every single day as a gift or, at least, I try not to forget that it’s a gift even when said day doesn’t feel that wonderful to live through ;)
- My never ending love (and respect) for writing and for reading books. Both helped made me who I am as a person and they still do, every single day. Those two skills are essentials, but reading probably is the most important of them.
What follows has not much to do with the original question, so feel free to ignore it or you can see it as a free bonus ;)
(old moron rant mode ON)
Books are an almost magical way (without any magic in them, it’s pure brain power and smartness) to have a discussion through space and time with some of the brightest minds (and also quite a few of the dumbest ones, to be honest) humanity ever had. Books are also very patient teachers that will follow along at your pace, never rushing you, never holding you back. And then, some of those books may even become lifelong friends and companions that you will always be able to rely on, like a best friend.
That’s one of the reasons I’m so sad to see more and more younger people that don’t and probably won’t ever read a book in their entire life. Like if it meant nothing, like if was just another way to waste one’s time, like doom scrolling, binge watching or… fapping. It is not. Alas, one cannot realize that unless one starts making a habit out of reading and one learns to properly read.
Because, like walking, singing, drawing, building rocket ships or riding a bike, reading is a skill that must be learned before one can hope to get good at it. It needs to be properly learned. And there is no shortcut to learning that: it’s called education.
Teaching kids is something too many adults seem to have decided was not worth bothering with. When I first read this I could have cried if I was not already aware of the issue: The Elite College Students Who Can’t Read Books.
Those kids are not stupid, and certainly stupider than we were at their age, don’t get me wrong. But they’re also so screwed up it’s hard to describe. And it is us, parents and all adults alike, that screwed them up by failing at educating them.
It’s not just sad, it’s a tragedy. For those kids. But they won’t realize how deeply they have been screwed up by the failing educative system up until it’s too late for them. The day they will begin their own adult life and they will be required to compete against other young people among them, against those who will have been properly educated not just to be able to read books (and properly use them). They won’t stand a chance, no matter how smart they are, because being able to properly use books is like the ultimate cheat code.
So, if you’re young and happen to read this rant by a random old dude you will never meet IRL (hi from France, where our once reputed educative is at least as badly wrecked as the the US system discussed in the linked article). If all you know about books is that they’re dust magnets that have no WiFi, no Likes and no moving images in them (you’re not wrong). If you have never seen any of the so-called ‘adults’ around you open a book and have a fucking great time while reading it. If all or any of that apply to you, it’s not too late for you.
Go to your local library and get a card (it’s free, in most places). Once you get your card start bugging the shit out of your librarian by (gently) asking them for reading advice, making it clear you’re a beginner (that’s OK). Don’t be afraid to tell them you did not enjoy a book they suggested that’s not belittling them and, if they’re not stupid, they will be able to use your feedback to narrow down their next suggestion to something that will suit you a little better.
You don’t like/want to talk to librarians? Pick books yourself and test them (your school must have its own library). If you realize you don’t like one book, just put t back and try with another one as there is no law anywhere on the planet that requires a reader to finish a book they started but they don’t like. You can also start reading with friends, and discuss the book while you’re reading it, or after. Or both :)
One last advice that, I fear, will make most potential new readers run away from me and my stupid rant but that still needs to be told: don’t be afraid to read… classics. There, I said it. Don’t listen to the hype (or to the hate). You can be sure books that have withstands a few centuries of reader’s attention, if not more than centuries, are still there for a very good reason. No matter what some trendy influencer or some angry crowd may say about it. Also, it’s ok to start a classic and to not like it, that’s fine. Try some other one ;)
(old moron rant mode OFF)
Thank you, that was a good read.
My pleasure.
I would so much love to see more kids read books… Not for my own satisfaction (it’s unlikely this will help me last a second more than my allotted time on this planet) but for themselves. Instead of learning to read, and to read as widely as they can and to discuss what they are reading (and, let’s be crazy one moment, to start writing too), they’re being encouraged to waste so much of their time on useless shit activities by the very same persons that should worry the most about those kids future: their parents, family and teachers.
I was pretty hardcore straight edge in college. Now I drink more days than I don’t.
At 41 I’m surprised by how much more self confident I have become. I still remember what it felt like being the insecure girl I was in high school, but it’s so obvious to me now that the things I was afraid of then were silly. I wish I had worried less and enjoyed life more back then, but I’m glad I have come as far as I have. I wonder when I look back in another 25 years if I’ll feel just as foreign to myself at 41.
