I (23M) am a broke online college student living with my parents. I have an abusive brother (25M) who also lives under the same roof.

My brother is a narcissist. He believes that he is the most important person in the universe. Boundaries and respect do not matter to him. He will hijack every conversation into being either constant self-aggrandizing or personal attacks and force me to repeat it back to him. He is physically violent when provoked and he has killed multiple animals by beating them to death with his bare hands. Unfortunately, he seems to consider “no” to be a provocation. He searches through all my stuff without permission and I’ve had to start being careful about what things I leave lying around.

My parents do not care about this. My father doesn’t because he’s the OG narcissist who passed it down to my brother and actively cheers for my suffering, and my mother doesn’t because she is the enabler who chose to stay married to my father and told me I had to suffer the abuse endlessly like she does.

I don’t have any irl friends because I have medical conditions that make it difficult for me to be outside on my own for extended periods of time. I also can’t drive because of that. It sucks. This isn’t to say it’s impossible for me to go out, but it’s hard and kind of risky (my condition can cause me to faint).

I have constantly been told to give up on being treated like a human being, but I have begun to recognize that my family is feeding me false narratives of hopelessness to keep me complacent and submissive. I surely have power, but my internalization of their narratives is obscuring the ways to exercise it.

What would you do in such a situation, or if you have been in a similar situation, what did you do?

EDIT: I live in the U.S.

  • Ludrol@szmer.info
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    1 day ago

    I have been in similar situation but without the chronic illness. What has worked for me:

    1. Maximise time outside. Try group activities, where people can take care of you if something happens, and give your a rides to and from meeting spot. Check if library or other institution has some sort of help program.
    2. Get money. Find a job you can do. Any job wil do.
    3. Move out asap.

    The first step to heal is to not be in danger.

    I hope for your success. I have walked through hell, and somehow I survived. All this effort was worth it.