For my birthday, my spouse got me a nicer newer expensive version of a thing I already have. The one I have is older and dented but works just fine. I use it weekly. I never complain about it. I’ve never asked for a newer one. The one I have was given to me by my mother in law, whom I adore. It’s sentimental.

I don’t like new things. When they got me a 3d printer, it was the cheapest one and it was a kit and I had to build myself. I loved it. It’s perfect for me. I regularly buy things used or get things from Buy Nothing groups. I much prefer to repair old things in many ways. My car has over 100k miles. The one before did too. I don’t like new things.

We got into a huge argument because I want to return it. They are so upset with me that they left the house to calm down. Why am I the bad person? Why are they mad at me? I have a very clear tendency for old broken used things. Why am I obligated to like this new thing?

We literally established a rule early in our marriage. I’m not allowed to gift nerdy t shirts. They don’t like them. I love them. I thought they would like them but they do not. So they asked me to stop. This feels the same. I do not like new things. Why am I the bad guy for wanting to return the newer version of the thing I already have?

  • Devolution@lemmy.world
    626·
    22 hours ago

    A) You are acting like an ungrateful tool.

    B) Perhaps she should have held off.

    Be measured in your response next time, but at least have a conservation about what you want.

    • corsicanguppy@lemmy.caEnglish
      152·
      21 hours ago

      We had a convo about what we want. It really helped.

      We have an apartment in a nice island of walkability a ways out of town. It’s beautiful but pricy. We have very little extra space.

      We dont give gifts; we give experiences. Here’s a spa day for the trip we’re saving up for next year. Can we take the gondola up to the top of the hill for that fancy-pants restaurant your mum wanted to try? Do you remember that spashy canal ride at the animal sanctuary we did the one time, and we almost lost our keys? The adorable kids “selling shells” at Yelapa? How about the whale watching where all we saw was COVID from the borrowed all-weather gear?? Ha ha ha, that sucked.

      Memories store well. Pictures of chichen itza, the gondola at Benalmedana, the CN tower, the NYC WoW, they take up so little space - and the last one’s gone now - and they mean so much.

      Give experiences, even if all they do is affirm the plan that you’re going to Disneyland next spring, hell or high water. I think they reinforce familial bonds and get people out of their living rooms and into climbing gear or even just a shared breakfast where they can laugh and tease and make new memories.