• theneverfox@pawb.social
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    7 days ago

    OP posting about this online means she ought to cut it off with him, she’s better than him.

    The fuck is wrong with people. Being safe is good, testing people is manipulative and does not make anyone safer. It’s antisocial behavior, it is not a virtue

      • theneverfox@pawb.social
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        7 days ago

        By not flagging them down. You’re assigning intentionality to this by your framing… There’s no world where this is a positive thing, just a neutral or bad one.

        Is this a cute little misunderstanding, entirely appropriate to post online? Or did she do something antisocial intentionally, therefore making it impolite to share?

        • GreenShimada@lemmy.world
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          6 days ago

          By not flagging them down.

          And you’re assuming this was possible, as if most bars and restaurants don’t have very large windows facing the street. It’s far more likely she sat in the place and saw this guy walking back and forth, and thought “C’mon, buddy, you can do it…” because if he walked away she couldn’t make it outside in time to catch him. I literally did this with someone last night meeting people at a bar, they parked so close they walked past the place and back before anyone could text them the were going the wrong way. There was zero way to flag them down.

          We can imagine a million physical scenarios and we have incomplete information. So it’s up to OP to know if it was possible for her to flag him down and didn’t, or not. But at some level she is not his mommy and not his friend. A stranger does not have a duty to chase someone down to help them when they’re both meeting to look for a partner. You’re asking someone from literally the first moment to put more into the relationship than the other person, which is a toxic relationship.

          • theneverfox@pawb.social
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            6 days ago

            And if she couldn’t flag him down, how is this not just a cute little story?

            This is only something that shouldn’t be shared if she did something antisocial

            You’re asking someone from literally the first moment to put more into the relationship than the other person, which is a toxic relationship.

            You’re actually insane. That’s not at all what a toxic relationship is, and any decent person would help a complete stranger with minor problems because we live in a society

              • theneverfox@pawb.social
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                6 days ago

                Yeah, no shit. You actually need to talk to someone… I’m not joking or taking a cheap shot at you. I’m not being sarcastic, this is not about the argument

                You’ve expressed views that are violently antisocial. Please open up to someone

                • GreenShimada@lemmy.world
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                  6 days ago

                  views that are violently antisocial

                  Excuse me - violently antisocial? Violently in what way, exactly? Please explain, in depth, what aspects of anything I’ve said mention, include, or advocate for violence.

                  I’ll wait right here for as much time as you want to take to explain.

                  Or, and hear me out here, maybe you’re not at good as playing behavioral psychologist as you think you are, and are not an authority on the entirety of human interaction.

    • credo@lemmy.world
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      7 days ago

      testing people is manipulative

      You think watching someone through a window is manipulative?

    • Sc00ter@lemmy.zip
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      7 days ago

      Testing people like, “i put them in a shitty situation like pretended to cheat on them and see how they reacted” is shitty and manipulative.

      Observing someone and how they process a situation is not manipulative.