Naked Space, a.k.a. The Creature Wasn’t Nice. A terrible Leslie Nielson spoof movie from 1981 that looks like it was shot in a weekend for $500, but it’s funny to a point and has some good lines.

Pollution makes your penis small but having a small penis makes you buy a big truck that pollutes more.

I don’t really see a way out of this.

What a nice wholesome interaction with the masked paramilitary kidnap force.

Imagine, if this really happened, this guy didn’t know who they were and didn’t know anything about ice and was like “I really appreciate you guys who are you guys anyway?”

“We’re ice”

“Oh I don’t know who that is. What brings you to town?”

“We’re here to kidnap men, women and children and put them in cages”

“Uh…”

“Yeah, you hear about that guy who got held down and shot in the back of the head execution style?”

“I did hear something about that. We’re you there to help him…?”

“Haha. No, we’re the ones that shot him. That’s why we wear these masks”

“Oh I thought you had those because it’s cold”

“Haha no no no no. It’s because we don’t want people to be able to identify us and hold us accountable for our crimes.”

“Uh…I really gotta go”

“Sure thing buddy. Hey, before you go. You don’t happen to know any brown people do you?”

“Nope, sure don’t. Gotta go. Byeee!”

I used to watch a lot of British comedy but never really watched any that aren’t highly rated. The only two that come to mind are Man Stroke Woman and Green Wing

The world’s first orange battleship that fucks kids

“There is no real direction here, neither lines of power nor cooperation. Decisions are never really made – at best they manage to emerge, from a chaos of peeves, whims, hallucinations and all around assholery.”

Huh, Aisha being too young isn’t a problem for some people.

(In Islam, the prophet Mohammed married his wife Aisha when she was 6 and he was 50, but waited until she was 9 to consumate the marriage)

Every neighborhood has a FBI Surveillance Van and a Pretty Fly For A WiFi, just like every marina has a boat named Seas The Day and Wet Dream

Just make sure Keegan Michael Key is around to help reboot your smart toilet https://youtu.be/ddgVVeSX_tE

I don’t know if it’s funnier if its true or if it’s false but, either way, I bet he’s thrilled she told it

On the shoulders of giants, sir

There was a guy named Hero of Alexandria who was alive at the time of Jesus. He was a brilliant inventor, like the DaVinci of his day. He wrote 4 books. The first 3 are about his own inventions and the 4th seems similar but is thought to be a book explaining how other common things worked. In that 4th book he details how a trick “water into wine” jug works.

This is like Jesus trying to prove who he is by doing a card trick. “Look, I know all the other card tricks are just tricks, but THIS ONE is really magic.”

This seems ok as long as you allow people to buy it back for a reasonable price

I’m not a law guy but I seriously doubt there is a military law that says it is illegal to say not to do illegal things

Because of woke

Damn right. Nothing beats pumpkin pie, especially around Christmas.

Pumpkin pie

Paging Timothy Dexter

Literacy has betrayed me again

I’d spend half on hookers and blow, the other half I’d just waste