I coulda done it faster

Like two weeks ago, a leaked report said they were going to blame Tylenol. Guess Tylenol bought him a gold statue or something

I came here to say this too. I find it to be hilarious

“Seinfeld spoke at the school…”

He really shouldn’t be in a school

I’m not sure if you’re aware but when it became apparent that a big event was happening on the morning of Sept 11, the hospitals braced for mass casualties and… waited… and waited… and they never came.

https://www.marketwatch.com/story/how-they-first-knew-9-11-was-so-horrible-the-patients-didnt-come-11631298343

There were only 20 people pulled from the rubble. Six were firefighters, and 5 were police.

Nurses get a lot of well deserved praise. It’s just that in this case there wasn’t an uptick in emergency medical needs.

I get up earlier on weekends than weekdays. I try to get up at 6am but I often get up to pee at 4am and just stay up. I do a bunch of things and it feels like I’ve had a good day then I realize it’s only like 10am and I still have a whole day ahead of me.

It’s always those damn dirty astronauts. The Upright Citizens Brigade tried to warn us.

One man’s “leave a shit” is another man’s “take a treasure”

That’s what I was thinking. Either that or the coke was a false positive.

Do they make cocaine in pill form?

“We have found that autism is caused by woke”

The guy who made the decision was fired from Space Force for doing right wing podcasts, wrote a book about Marxism in the military and asked Trump to root out “monsters” in the military who support diversity. He’s anti-vax, pro Jan 6, basically his brain is completely given over to any right wing racist concept or conspiracy theory you can think of.

“We define God as that which is most important to us. So when we take the ass n titties heirarchy in light of the metaphysical substrate, titties is God”

Such a dumb argument. Now only is it simply untrue, it wouldn’t matter if it were true. If Chinese companies paid tariffs, their prices would go up and cause inflation. Instead the importer pays, raising prices and causing inflation.

Of course the consumer is the actual end payer in both scenarios.

They also spent a good twenty years making fun of Hilary Clinton’s ankles

I’m on my phone and didn’t see the knife. It could still be about privilege because he has a knife advantage that no one else has, not that I’m really hellbent on making it about privilege, it just struck me as the kind of thing a person who doesn’t believe in privilege would draw.

This would be a good illustration about privilege. Dude thinks he’s smarter than everyone else but he’s just been given a ball to roll while everyone else is pushing cubes.

She was in a minimum security prison before, she just got moved to a different one. I don’t know why, but she hasn’t suddenly moved to minimum security.

Minimum security federal prison isn’t a vacation. I knew someone who was in a women’s minimal security prison for a year or so. They’re more lax, aside from roll call, prisoners are free to walk around and do whatever, they want, they can even go outside, but there’s fuck all to do. A small library and a few board games and that’s it. There aren’t cells, there’s one big room with bunk beds around the walls, restrooms, a dining area and a visitors area and that’s all.

Sometimes my 3D printer nozzle gets clogged and if I don’t have a new one I have to order one and use my other two 3D printers until the new nozzle comes

The pyramids in Egypt were built before, during and after Noah’s flood was supposed to be killing everyone.