Just make sure Keegan Michael Key is around to help reboot your smart toilet https://youtu.be/ddgVVeSX_tE

I don’t know if it’s funnier if its true or if it’s false but, either way, I bet he’s thrilled she told it

On the shoulders of giants, sir

There was a guy named Hero of Alexandria who was alive at the time of Jesus. He was a brilliant inventor, like the DaVinci of his day. He wrote 4 books. The first 3 are about his own inventions and the 4th seems similar but is thought to be a book explaining how other common things worked. In that 4th book he details how a trick “water into wine” jug works.

This is like Jesus trying to prove who he is by doing a card trick. “Look, I know all the other card tricks are just tricks, but THIS ONE is really magic.”

This seems ok as long as you allow people to buy it back for a reasonable price

I’m not a law guy but I seriously doubt there is a military law that says it is illegal to say not to do illegal things

Because of woke

Damn right. Nothing beats pumpkin pie, especially around Christmas.

Pumpkin pie

Paging Timothy Dexter

Literacy has betrayed me again

I’d spend half on hookers and blow, the other half I’d just waste

I’ve never heard the word hebophile and I bet a lot of people haven’t either. Sometimes when unfamiliar words are introduced as part of a story or event, they become a central part of that story and forever linked to it. Maybe people should use it more regarding trump.

40 million didn’t seem like a record breaking box office weekend. Sure enough, it’s only record breaking for the franchise.

It’s actually in 443rd spot of the opening weekend charts. These are probably preliminary numbers and if they can add just another 50k to that total when the numbers are all in, they can move up to beat Chicken Little.

https://www.boxofficemojo.com/chart/top_opening_weekend/?offset=400

Trying to work up the nerve to turn the hot water off and step out into the cold air

Dude couldn’t even build a tunnel

That was in 2014. They’ve since changed it to Louvre1

I agree in general but I can’t think of anything in the OT that is taken from The Epic of Gilgamesh except the Noah’s Ark story, which is a clear rip-off. And the 5000 years ago is too long, I think the oldest books are from the 8th century BCE.

“I have no special regard for Satan; but I can at least claim that I have no prejudice against him. It may even be that I lean a little his way, on account of his not having a fair show. All religions issue bibles against him, and say the most injurious things about him, but we never hear his side.” - Mark Twain

You don’t have to look at Christians to think God isn’t so good.

In the Bible, Satan kills 10 people, Job’s children, and he did it with God’s blessing while they were having a bet.

God killed entire cities, all the firstborn of a nation even down to the slave’s children, killed everyone on earth except 8 people, killed a guy for picking up sticks, killed a guy for not allowing the ark of the covenant to fall, told the Hebrews to attack nations and kill every man woman and child in the land and was furious when they left a few alive, had a God-off to show he was more powerful and when the other side converted to believe in him he had them killed, killed David’s son and had his 10 wives publicly raped, killed 42 children for making fun of a bald guy… the list goes on, not to mention that God told the Hebrews to have slave’s, women were property and have to be killed if they ruin the one thing they were good for, their virginity.

Christians have weirdest relationship with the Bible. Many don’t really read it. If they did, they’d be Jewish. Jesus said to keep the Jewish laws, but Paul said it’s ok not to. Christians go with Paul instead of Jesus and generally disregard the Old Testament except the parts they think prove Jesus was the Messiah.

One can never be sure what President Brain Worms is talking about but I’m pretty sure Obama started a ten year plan to modernize our nuclear forces early in his presidency.