There are many people, like OP, that see things like the paradox of tolerance as some nouveau morality. It presents itself under the guise of being peaceful and tolerant when it is really a moral subjectivists justification for violence. It is dishonest and so are it’s proponents.
You don’t need all of these communal things if a family simply raises their kids in a traditional way. What you’re describing is the commoditization of the nuclear family. It’s roundabout and worse overall. No one will love your kids and care for them like you will. Also the state pays for nothing because the state makes no money. It comes from the labor of the people. So really the mom is forced into the workforce to pay for childcare. Lol.