I used to travel all over Europe for work, one day I arrived in Munich where the passport control officer asked if I was there for Oktoberfest. I explained I don’t drink and I was just there for work.

He looked me up and down, tilted his head a little and said “Really? You, Don’t drink?

I’m a big guy, not fat fat, but big. I was so annoyed with suggestion that I must like my beer because of my stature, I stewed about it in the taxi all the way to my hotel until I caught myself in the mirror of the hotel room, where I realised I was wearing a Guinness shirt I picked up in Dublin the previous week.

Hmmm. Probably a teacher asking me to take a seat across a desk from them, ignoring me while typing something, taking a moment to look at me, and going back to ignoring me. For like, 10 minutes.

Have you ever had a dish washed at you?

Does being on the receiving end of bird poop count?

🖕