Neither am I, I just think I shouldn’t be allowed to but a house or rent a car or use a chainsaw or raise a child unsupervised. That’s something grown-ups do, not me (40yo).
that sounds like a massive lack of self-confidence.
none of those things are difficult. most people do them on auto pilot. you are thinking way too much.
you also falsely assume there is a ‘correct’ way to do these things and you will do it ‘wrong’. there isn’t.
i used to teach. biggest thing most people have to get over is their pre conception of a ‘right’ way to do things. there is only really what works for you, it only doesn’t work if you aren’t able to attain your goals.
like i meet people who think the only ‘correct’ way to have a child to make sure that child gets into Harvard… otherwise their child will be a failure at life. those people are idiots. the kid will be perfectly fine going to a state school, and maybe even not going to college at all…
Yeah but there’s also a massive subset of people making horrible children because they shouldn’t be parents in the first place. Its unfortunate but it happens.
According to me, for one. You seem to not understand your own privilege, or you’d be aware of the countless unwanted, unloved children born to parents who do not give a fuck that the world then exploits relentlessly until they manage to remove themselves from the abuse cycle or are dead. The foster system is full of them, and so are the prisons. Ever heard of the school to prison pipeline? It’s a thing, and while many of those parents are simply disadvantaged but otherwise loving, many others are worse. Far worse, apparently, than you can acknowledge.
So according to me, a person with skin in this particular game, if a parent is unable or unwilling to see potential offspring as vulnerable little humans in need of protection, nurture, and provision until such time as they can manage on their own, they should not be parenting. And honestly, if a parent or would-be parent sees children as means to an end, things to use or worse, to sell, then “judging” them is quite frankly the least bad thing that should happen to them.
I’m glad you enjoy your life. But your kind of life is not the only life being lived. You are privileged beyond your own awareness.
so what do you propose, sterilizing people who dont pass your litmus test?
frankly, i’ve had people scream at me my parents should have never had be because my parents were not rich and could not buy me nice things and pay for my college and graduate degrees for me. i had to pay for them myself. where i live people think that is child abuse and horrible and wrong. should we require that only people with massive wealth be able to have kids then?
wow yeah, what a loser i am. i should have been lucky enough to have parents that beat the shit out of me who were also poor. i’d be such a better person!
my point is your argument is stupid and draconian, and ultimately unenforcable. it’s merely a product of your own self-righteousness and need to control how others live their lives. if i had kids i’d force them to get jobs, just like i did. in your world that would be abusive parenting, probably. and i’d judge the shit out of them if they refused to work or were losers who didn’t contribute positively to society.
Apparently Tubular has not seen the massive amount of horrible parents and by result, children.
Not judging anyone, people can do what they want. But a lot of people do not step back to take in the gravity of the situation when discussing bringing new humans into this world.
most child experts have widely different theories and practices. the type of things they do in Japan or Europe, for example, qualify as child abuse and neglect in the USA. and the things we do in the USA to kids seem horrific to europeans.
No. I’m not.
but i like and enjoy my life. i don’t regard it as a burden to escape from.
Neither am I, I just think I shouldn’t be allowed to but a house or rent a car or use a chainsaw or raise a child unsupervised. That’s something grown-ups do, not me (40yo).
that sounds like a massive lack of self-confidence.
none of those things are difficult. most people do them on auto pilot. you are thinking way too much.
you also falsely assume there is a ‘correct’ way to do these things and you will do it ‘wrong’. there isn’t.
i used to teach. biggest thing most people have to get over is their pre conception of a ‘right’ way to do things. there is only really what works for you, it only doesn’t work if you aren’t able to attain your goals.
like i meet people who think the only ‘correct’ way to have a child to make sure that child gets into Harvard… otherwise their child will be a failure at life. those people are idiots. the kid will be perfectly fine going to a state school, and maybe even not going to college at all…
Yeah but there’s also a massive subset of people making horrible children because they shouldn’t be parents in the first place. Its unfortunate but it happens.
according to who, you?
the thing about other people’s actions is you don’t get to police them. plenty of people probably think your actions are horrible, stupid, and wrong.
According to me, for one. You seem to not understand your own privilege, or you’d be aware of the countless unwanted, unloved children born to parents who do not give a fuck that the world then exploits relentlessly until they manage to remove themselves from the abuse cycle or are dead. The foster system is full of them, and so are the prisons. Ever heard of the school to prison pipeline? It’s a thing, and while many of those parents are simply disadvantaged but otherwise loving, many others are worse. Far worse, apparently, than you can acknowledge.
So according to me, a person with skin in this particular game, if a parent is unable or unwilling to see potential offspring as vulnerable little humans in need of protection, nurture, and provision until such time as they can manage on their own, they should not be parenting. And honestly, if a parent or would-be parent sees children as means to an end, things to use or worse, to sell, then “judging” them is quite frankly the least bad thing that should happen to them.
I’m glad you enjoy your life. But your kind of life is not the only life being lived. You are privileged beyond your own awareness.
so what do you propose, sterilizing people who dont pass your litmus test?
frankly, i’ve had people scream at me my parents should have never had be because my parents were not rich and could not buy me nice things and pay for my college and graduate degrees for me. i had to pay for them myself. where i live people think that is child abuse and horrible and wrong. should we require that only people with massive wealth be able to have kids then?
wow yeah, what a loser i am. i should have been lucky enough to have parents that beat the shit out of me who were also poor. i’d be such a better person!
my point is your argument is stupid and draconian, and ultimately unenforcable. it’s merely a product of your own self-righteousness and need to control how others live their lives. if i had kids i’d force them to get jobs, just like i did. in your world that would be abusive parenting, probably. and i’d judge the shit out of them if they refused to work or were losers who didn’t contribute positively to society.
You said it better than me.
Apparently Tubular has not seen the massive amount of horrible parents and by result, children.
Not judging anyone, people can do what they want. But a lot of people do not step back to take in the gravity of the situation when discussing bringing new humans into this world.
who are you to judge someone else’s parenting?
most child experts have widely different theories and practices. the type of things they do in Japan or Europe, for example, qualify as child abuse and neglect in the USA. and the things we do in the USA to kids seem horrific to europeans.
I just said people can do what they want. Is it good for society, probably not (see crime rate increases posted above)