I’m all for them displaying the Ten Commandments. That’s fine with me as long as they display the 1000 commandments from my religion too. The Church of All-Joking, All-Drunken Synod of Fools and Jesters. Here’s the first 10.
Thou shalt not take thyself too seriously, for everyone else is also winging it.
Thou shalt not attempt diets on Mondays, for misery already hath enough dominion over that day.
Thou shalt honor thy couch and keep it sacred, especially on days when thou hath “big plans” that mysteriously vanish.
Thou shalt treat grocery carts as chariots of chaos and return them to their corral… unless it raineth, then abandon them as is tradition.
Thou shalt not pretend to enjoy small talk about the weather, for it is the blandest of offerings.
Thou shalt love thy neighbor, but thou art not obligated to like their cooking, their children, or their lawn ornaments.
Thou shalt not judge others’ hobbies, for every soul hath something weird that bringeth them joy.
Remember the nap and keep it holy; thou art but a fragile creature of flesh and exhaustion.
Thou shalt not compare thy life to Instagram, for illusions are plentiful and filters are powerful.
Thou shalt do thy best, even on the days thou feelest like a sentient potato—and lo, that shall be enough.
I’m all for them displaying the Ten Commandments. That’s fine with me as long as they display the 1000 commandments from my religion too. The Church of All-Joking, All-Drunken Synod of Fools and Jesters. Here’s the first 10.
Thou shalt not take thyself too seriously, for everyone else is also winging it.
Thou shalt not attempt diets on Mondays, for misery already hath enough dominion over that day.
Thou shalt honor thy couch and keep it sacred, especially on days when thou hath “big plans” that mysteriously vanish.
Thou shalt treat grocery carts as chariots of chaos and return them to their corral… unless it raineth, then abandon them as is tradition.
Thou shalt not pretend to enjoy small talk about the weather, for it is the blandest of offerings.
Thou shalt love thy neighbor, but thou art not obligated to like their cooking, their children, or their lawn ornaments.
Thou shalt not judge others’ hobbies, for every soul hath something weird that bringeth them joy.
Remember the nap and keep it holy; thou art but a fragile creature of flesh and exhaustion.
Thou shalt not compare thy life to Instagram, for illusions are plentiful and filters are powerful.
Thou shalt do thy best, even on the days thou feelest like a sentient potato—and lo, that shall be enough.
you know i wouldn’t think we would need a commandment against couchfucking, but here we are
No…
We’re just getting started.