I know I keep posting over and over but I’m in so much pain and I have no one or nowhere to go to when I am sad. I’m trying to channel everything internally without being such a burden and annoyance to people. I keep asking myself “why didn’t he fight for me and his relationship?” “Why am I so easy to be given up on?” “Was I even special to him?” … I cannot stop crying. I feel hopeless right now. When we stopped talking for a couple days and I reached out for closure, he said not speaking for those three days makes him realize he should’ve been more appreciative of me and how hard I tried and all those things. But if he was saying those things then why not turn it around? 😔I sound like a hopeless romantic but I can’t wrap my head around anything anymore… the closure somehow made it worse I guess. I told him I forgive him for anything he thinks he did wrong. He appreciated that. I miss him so much. I miss our memories, I miss his face. Something deep down inside of me feels like I’m going to see his face again but I know that’s false reality. We never even got to talk to each other about these things in person. I just want to cry in his arms.
Hang in there. Keep giving it more time, this is good progress you’re making already on figuring your emotions and feelings out.
Ignore anyone telling you you’re “young” or whatever. Heartbreak is heartbreak, there’s no winning or losing, it all just sucks.
Your heartache is just as valid as someone who’s been together for 50 years.
This is how we learn, unfortunately. This is an important milestone in a lot of people’s relationships, and those who aren’t going through what you’re going through aren’t better, they’re just going to have a sharper learning curve later in life when/if they do get a bad breakup. They won’t know how to process it.
Think of this like a vaccine. The earlier in life you can work through this, the better prepared you’ll be for future relationships.
You’ll also be able to use this experience to help others, like your friends, when they’re in a similar situation. Try and remember what it feels like and how miserable you feel, and don’t become detached or lofty when you see others suffering like you are now. Remember how much it hurt, and understand that’s what they’re going through as well.
Regarding the guy: Don’t reconnect, don’t get back, block, etc. This is a situation where you could easily rubber band back and forth, and I’ve been there too. It’s beyond miserable. It’s a relationship that’s neither enjoyable, fulfilling, or downright awful, but somewhere in between. And it’ll last forever if you let it. Don’t fall into that trap just because you want to feel good and reconnect and take the easy way out of this suffering. I promise, it won’t last, and then the next time around will be worse, and you’ll end up gaslighting each other, hating each other, but both being too afraid and unable to escape the toxicity.