I choose to espouse a belief in pagan gods for this reason. I don’t seriously believe in them but I fucking love explaining strange events as the actions of ancient gods. It is just too funny not to do.

Weird surreal dream predicting your death? Must have been Morpheus. Weird isolated but strong storm at the wrong time of year? Someone made Zeus mad. Your garden just keeps turning out like absolute shit for no reason? Apologize to Demeter immediately. Sorry, I don’t make the rules