This is a gross oversimplification of personal relationships because every person projects, the difference is whether you replay a socially accepted role or not and this changes like any fashion.

Also i don’t know about authors playing scientist and using terms like “spirit”. Popular spiritual " science" self-help books will NOT make your life easier. An actual education will, because it makes sure you are not exposed to predatory behaiviour all the time. There’s only so much willpower to face power play, no amount of reasoning with the rain keeps you dry.