Personally I prefer this version

Sold the Civic, I did. Marked vehicle, it was. Hmmm

Nope, no space with all the ketamine

Congrats on your field promotion

If they go out of their way to hurt you, or are so indifferent about you that they hurt you in the process of doing something else and decide they don’t care.

People who value you and your feelings so little that they would do either are not worth keeping around, and certainly aren’t worth your effort emotionally to be able to forgive

The real crime here is not calling the big bar the “Maga Bar”. Like come on, stupidity of this aside, the joke was right fucking there.

Even if not, I doubt competitors are “shitting their pants” over this. Can’t say the bulletproofness rating topped the list of features I was looking for in my next car purchase