That is what I mean. Imagine being an otherwise decent person who just happens to strongly believe in the whole conservative-christian system of values. Wouldn’t you want to act on your son being potentially gay?

Or even if you convince yourself that it is better to sweep it under the rug for the sake of peace or something, wouldn’t that be something you take into the grave? And, secretly feel relieved if your son “came out” as straight to you? After all, your own son apparently managed to get back to the “right path”.

I am not a psychologist, and I believe that it is not appropriate to diagnose people who didn’t ask for a diagnosis. But the father has some serious issues, and for his own safety and sanity, I can only tell OP to run and CYA as best as possible in case the family lashes out.

I think you put it well already. Those people have issues. Try to build as much independence as possible, and run. This has nothing to do with conservatism or religion (other than maybe weaponizing those things), and everything with manipulation and mental illness.

As I said it in another comment: Run, don’t walk. You owe them nothing. But you owe yourself and the good people you met / can meet to live a good life.

Absolutely. This is not just some bible-thumping “you will burn for your sins if you don’t repent” stuff, otherwise the logical reaction would have been to have a serious conversation on the spot. I would have kind of understood that reaction, from a certain frame of reference, although I of course think it is wrong. But this is someone collecting blackmail material in his own imaginary world where things are what the voices tell them they are.

Run, don’t walk. Seriously.

Take some deep breaths, someone is trying to be helpful here, not condescending.

Besides, they gave the amount in $, which kind of implies US.

Yup. She’s actually a pair of wooden legs with a wig.

Good point.

It took me a while to understand why a lot of self-defence-focussed jiu-jitsu reminded me of Aikido so much, instead of more “efficient” styles.

But it makes sense for the intended purpose: you don’t want to immediately punch someone into the next time zone for being loud and pushy at the bar, or for touching you in a way they see as bold and you see as creepy. But a twisted joint communicates “do this again and it hurts more” pretty well, yet doesn’t do long-term harm or cross the line into excessive violence

Everything this side of a real life or death fight has rules, so I don’t think people could ever test stuff without limits.

Or rather, the number of people who agree on a no rules fight is self-regulating…

Honestly, more people should do martial arts. Fuck, I should go and do some martial arts. It is great to release steam by “beating up” a consenting partner.

I like the concept of MMA as a sport. Creating a loose ruleset and encouraging people of different backgrounds to experiment is a great way to see what works and what doesn’t.

That said, I personally don’t like full-contact striking. Not in boxing, not in MMA, not in other sports. If people consent to do that, sure, have fun. But I don’t see the appeal of getting TBI to prove a point, and I don’t enjoy watching it.

There are, IMHO, ways to compete in a “close enough” fashion while reducing the risks, whether by agreeing on going light to the head and have the ruleset emphasise points for effective hits or by using equipment.

Regarding the UFC… Big US evil media company just like all the others, I guess. I wouldn’t give them my money, even before all the political mess.

Both statements can be true at the same time: The vast majority of men aren’t rapists, and the vast majority of rapists are men. That is, unfortunately, how statistics work.

Easy, just slap an ADS transmitter on your UFO and mask as a cessna

You know, I’d judge you, but I’ve been a horny teenager without internet access as well.

As someone with shitty memory: I forget a lot. Whole holidays, people, what I ate yesterday… I have always been that way, and so far I’ve been doing quite ok in life.

But while I forgot how it felt in a past, shitty job, I don’t forget how I promised myself to never work for such a boss again. Or how 16-year old me decided to stay in school aftet trying out metalworking over a summer. I may forget how it was, but I rarely forget what conclusion I drew from it. And that is what defines me as a person, not that I remember the face of my condescending, stupid boss.

Also, while it sucks, my life is my present. My past might be entirely hallucinated, and I might be hit by a bus tomorrow. But now, here, I am alive.

From some unrelated nonprofit experience, companies seem way more cool with discounting goods and services than donating money. Probably something to do with contribution profit margin, where selling some more at a loss is still better as it covers some costs you have anyway. That plus creative tax write offs, and they probably earn money from giving you a huge discount AND feel good about it / get free PR

I mean, the design is to force drivers to slow down. Looks like they fulfilled their requirements.

Absolutely. I am very fortunate to have very supportive parents, both financially and interpersonally, but they told me and my brother after school, in very clear terms, to learn a job that can pay the bills. For me, learning a trade, where you need to show up every morning, on-time, sober, wearing a clean t-shirt and smelling okay, probably saved me from becoming like your friends. Sadly, that ship has sailed for your friends. Now, pulling themselves out of their hole will be harder for them. I don’t really have good advice.

You are a good person for caring, and as long as you take care about your own wellbeing, there is nothing wrong with trying to get someone to be a better person. Imagine it like this: If you were helping a human who fell into drug addiction and homelessness recover, would you be a good or a bad person? The only difference here is the circumstances of your friends being more comfortable.

now

Americans

leftists

You did read the news who won the last election, did you?

Nope, I have never lived and worked for a longer time in the US, therefore, no first-hand experience. I have relatives who lived and still live in the US, and so far I haven’t heard anything to the contrary.

I did have the joy of almost having to pay a non-trivial hospital stay out of pocket here due to some insurance shenanigans, and a (iirc) 5-day stay with 3h surgery and a bunch of extras (due to “Privatversicherung” rates, difficulty, MRI, CT etc.) came out to less than 10k€. I don’t remember the actual costs, since in the end the insurances did finally agree on who had to pay, but it must have been something like 6-7k total. From what I heard, that is roughly similar to US out-of-pocket costs, except that due to insurance, I paid 0€.

If you have a good argument against my point, I’m happy to hear it. As I said, our health care system is a mess right now. The boomer generation retiring is going to make things very difficult. Bureaucracy is exploding, for several reasons. The two-class system with private and public insurance is disgusting bullshit and quite the opposite of what I believe “social democracy” should be.

Idk, hanging out with nice people makes me feel less lonely.