Cyrus Draegur

The Republicans are a mass shooter massacring children inside a school

The Democrats are the Uvalde police department

They’re just standing around holding their dicks LETTING it happen completely unopposed.

fascists deserve to be barred from oxygen

i mean, that TOO.

they’ll make smaller shittier batteries that die more quickly so that they can charge more to replace them and put proprietary control chips inside them so either third party manufacturers of better batteries will have to “violate copyright” in order to make them work or YOU’LL be required to “violate copyright” to make them work, thus locking most people without the technical skills to circumvent the ‘security’ into only buying the shitty ‘official’ batteries until MORE regulation comes along to make them cut that shit out. In the mean time they’ll be blaming the regulations for the shittiness they adopted.

eminent domain seizure and fucking liquidate them

poland in the fattening/caution zone is kind of on point actually

i fucking love polish food and feel that describes it pretty well X3

also rebrand it from Mastodon to Trunky.

1. Trochaic meter is more addictive: 2 syllables with accent on the first. just like YOU-tube, FACE-book, GOO-gle, TWIT-ter, TIK-tok, SNAP-chat, RED-dit, WHATS-app, etc; there are a FEW exceptions like Insta, Messenger, Telegram… but they are the clear minority and were propelled in spite of their names. it’s part of why TEEN-age MU-tant NIN-ja TUR-tles and MIGH-ty MOR-phin POW-er RAN-gers was popular.
2. Trunky is full of bright bouncy sounds that pop, the T and the K both hit nice, the R is exciting and powerful, the y ends it on a high timbre, it’s cute.
3. A mastodon is an extinct lumbering beast from the ice age which is the antithesis of anything trying to break out as a hot new service. But this would allow the service to keep its pachyderm branding.
4. While at it, change “favorite” to “trumpet” (as in trumpeting praise), again it’s trochaic (TRUM-pet) and carries less cognitive LOAD than “favoriting” which feels heavy and committed. Just because you LIKE something doesn’t mean it’s your FAVORITE thing you know? this would decrease the friction of interaction (which is GOOD).
5. Also while at it, keep tooting as the analogue for tweeting, rename boosting to re-tooting for brand consistency, and add a bookmarking function called “Remembering” (because ELEPHANTS NEVER FORGET, right? :D)