Coming from someone who is “childfree” and in my line of work sometimes maybe most of the times, I think I see dads that maybe shouldn’t have been.
I get that I’m harsh, and I can’t tell from one example obviously but I feel sometimes there’s social pressure to have kids.
So for you, What makes you a father figure.
I am a dad to two young kids. I know other guys my age that are recent dads and some of them do seem to struggle to adjust. I hear about their wives complaining about how they are constantly golfing or still going out a lot.
Another commenter here mentioned that having kids changes you and I 100% agree with that. I don’t drink now, I drive like an old man in the name of safety, I spend almost every night at home with my kids and I take them out on the weekends, I cut my hours at work so I can help my wife more often, I don’t watch sports because my kids won’t sit still long enough to watch a game and want to play. My life now is about these kids. I used to think that people that based their lives solely around their kids had no life, but now that I have these kids I appreciate the sacrifices you make to be a parent. All of these changes I realize are better for me too.
You can talk philosophically about how to raise kids, but I think the number one quality of a good parent is being present for your kids and being willing to adjust your life to what they need. Growing up the number one thing I noticed about kids that had bad relationships with their parents was their parents not being around, whether it be work or whatever else. You gotta be willing to dedicate your time to kids over all else, and if you can’t do that, it will be hard to be a good parent.