Coming from someone who is “childfree” and in my line of work sometimes maybe most of the times, I think I see dads that maybe shouldn’t have been.
I get that I’m harsh, and I can’t tell from one example obviously but I feel sometimes there’s social pressure to have kids.
So for you, What makes you a father figure.
I’m sure this is not an exhaustive answer, but a father figure (to me) is someone who helps teach someone young the right and wrong way to do things, being there as a safe space for people to ask questions, and being able to divorce the idea of roughness or harshness that comes with being a man in general when someone needs you to comfort, console, or show them support and love.
A father figure is “always in your corner” and is always there to challenge you and cheer you on.
It carries with you a skill of being able to talk someone off a proverbial ledge - when your kid feels like it’s the end of the world when they failed or got embarrassed or rejected, illustrating for them that life will carry on and “this too, shall pass”.
I think all of this is wrapped up into a “father figure”. The sad thing is that father figures need love too, and being a father without one of your own can be a very lonely place to live.
To be clear though, you don’t have to be a father to be a father figure - however some of what molds a father into this role are the many situations we get thrust into it early on when you have kids as you shepherd them through life. You could certainly do the same thing by volunteering or doing Big Brother, etc.
My two cents anyway!
There are definitely deadbeat dads also that shouldn’t be, to your point. It’s super easy to father a child but not so much to be a good dad - it takes a lot of work and sacrifice to do it well.