Okay, I’m probably not the target audience here because I don’t watch sitcoms. Here’s the thing I don’t like about the husband’s share of the housework thing. I don’t feel like it’s fair if I share the housework but my spouse doesn’t share the yard work. It’s a partnership, and we need to divide responsibilities. If we don’t, it’s extra on me as the husband. Sometimes, I have the capacity to take that on. Other times, I don’t and I need my spouse to fill in for me.
Now here’s the thing. If we don’t have a yard, I should absolutely divide the housework because it’s otherwise not fair to the spouse.
But, like I was reminded when I got married, marriage isn’t 50/50. Sometimes it’s 40/60. Sometimes it’s 0/100. You put in what you got because it’s a partnership.
It is also very hard to have a realistic estimation of how much work your partner is actually doing, because obviously they are doing it and not you. So it is somewhat obscure to you and their share appears smaller to you. If you want to share work equally you should be prepared to do what you perceive as ~70% of the work load.
On another note: I feel like yard work is a strange example because in most cases work in the garden is a rather voluntary thing. Nothing bad usually happens if a garden is neglected a bit, unless you are relying on it for produce. Granted, things can overgrow, maybe a bush is removed rather sooner than later, but the household is just a huge never ending chain of responsibilities and important garden work is rather sporadic. Household work just needs to be done to ensure there is food on the table and clean clothes in the wardrobe.
Previous homeowner made some questionable planting decisions. It is a lot of maintenance. I’m working up to just removing them all. If I can get THAT done, I’m happy doing all the yard work and splitting the house work. Maybe my situation is unusual though
“If love does not know how to give and take without restrictions, it is not love, but a transaction that never fails to lay stress on a plus and a minus.”
-Emma Goldman
Okay, I’m probably not the target audience here because I don’t watch sitcoms. Here’s the thing I don’t like about the husband’s share of the housework thing. I don’t feel like it’s fair if I share the housework but my spouse doesn’t share the yard work. It’s a partnership, and we need to divide responsibilities. If we don’t, it’s extra on me as the husband. Sometimes, I have the capacity to take that on. Other times, I don’t and I need my spouse to fill in for me.
Now here’s the thing. If we don’t have a yard, I should absolutely divide the housework because it’s otherwise not fair to the spouse.
But, like I was reminded when I got married, marriage isn’t 50/50. Sometimes it’s 40/60. Sometimes it’s 0/100. You put in what you got because it’s a partnership.
It is also very hard to have a realistic estimation of how much work your partner is actually doing, because obviously they are doing it and not you. So it is somewhat obscure to you and their share appears smaller to you. If you want to share work equally you should be prepared to do what you perceive as ~70% of the work load.
On another note: I feel like yard work is a strange example because in most cases work in the garden is a rather voluntary thing. Nothing bad usually happens if a garden is neglected a bit, unless you are relying on it for produce. Granted, things can overgrow, maybe a bush is removed rather sooner than later, but the household is just a huge never ending chain of responsibilities and important garden work is rather sporadic. Household work just needs to be done to ensure there is food on the table and clean clothes in the wardrobe.
Previous homeowner made some questionable planting decisions. It is a lot of maintenance. I’m working up to just removing them all. If I can get THAT done, I’m happy doing all the yard work and splitting the house work. Maybe my situation is unusual though
“If love does not know how to give and take without restrictions, it is not love, but a transaction that never fails to lay stress on a plus and a minus.” -Emma Goldman
I wish I was that eloquent. Well put
A fucking Emma Goldman quote in the wild? My GOD, I love Lemmy