That is a good perspective on a majority of hetero marriages. Key take aways is communication is so important in relationship. My spouse thanks me a lot that I’m not “one of those husbands” and actually when I was putting my son to bed last night he said he’s glad I’m his dad and I’ll quote “because if I was a lazy dad he’d tell me to get out so he could have a hardworking dad like me.” He doesn’t see me at work, he meant at home.
I know there are other dads out there that do strike a balance in the home. So we (men) are not all hopeless. But I’m not ignorant to not recognize the vast majority are big children looking for a mommy instead of a wife. In the example of what my son said above, parents need to be examples of what is right. He sees me cooking, cleaning, and doing everything around the house. Also participating in his life and being present for him. That’s what matters most.
Anyhow everyone with children should be aware of these issues and do better than their “traditional” parents. Break the cycle. I don’t want my kids relying on another person to do basic life functions, that’s a very pathetic way to be.
I don’t want my kids relying on another person to do basic life functions, that’s a very pathetic way to be.
Totally, I have a friend who really struggling because her two boys are now becoming teenagers and all they’ve ever seen is her doing virtually all the work around the house, so naturally they’re now resistant to being expected to step it up in the chore department. And it’s not like their father can really admonish them, because they’re just copying his lead.
I get that it can be a struggle to overcome your upbringing, but you’ve got to try.
The concept of “mental load” blew the cabin doors of my brain wide open. This isn’t the comic that did it for me, but it’s as decent one about how men are often socialized to be basically useless outside of a few specialized roles: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/may/26/gender-wars-household-chores-comic
That is a good perspective on a majority of hetero marriages. Key take aways is communication is so important in relationship. My spouse thanks me a lot that I’m not “one of those husbands” and actually when I was putting my son to bed last night he said he’s glad I’m his dad and I’ll quote “because if I was a lazy dad he’d tell me to get out so he could have a hardworking dad like me.” He doesn’t see me at work, he meant at home.
I know there are other dads out there that do strike a balance in the home. So we (men) are not all hopeless. But I’m not ignorant to not recognize the vast majority are big children looking for a mommy instead of a wife. In the example of what my son said above, parents need to be examples of what is right. He sees me cooking, cleaning, and doing everything around the house. Also participating in his life and being present for him. That’s what matters most.
Anyhow everyone with children should be aware of these issues and do better than their “traditional” parents. Break the cycle. I don’t want my kids relying on another person to do basic life functions, that’s a very pathetic way to be.
Totally, I have a friend who really struggling because her two boys are now becoming teenagers and all they’ve ever seen is her doing virtually all the work around the house, so naturally they’re now resistant to being expected to step it up in the chore department. And it’s not like their father can really admonish them, because they’re just copying his lead.
I get that it can be a struggle to overcome your upbringing, but you’ve got to try.