I was under the impression the “mental load” had to do with non visible labor such as: planning/shopping/taking inventory for weekly meals, managing all household inventory, managing household laundry (as in, does my child(ren) have what they need for the coming day(s)?), planning birthdays, group activities/meetings, doctors appointments ect, bills, and planning repairs for various things, all the planning stuff that goes with living in a household together as family.

All the mental organizational stuff that needs to be clear to execute running life smoothly. And life is chaos for most, so it takes work.

I think venting and being there for a stressed out partner is emotional labor. While both happen mentally and unless you’re a list/spreadsheet type, happen within the brain, it’s a bit different, emotional labor vs what we call “mental load”

Edit: if a person is dating someone, and your partner is constantly just, stressing you out to a point you have resentment, they may not be right for you. Two good people can date, and just bring out the worst in one another. Sometimes it can be worked on to get better, sometimes it’s just incompatibility.

It’s okay to leave things that stress you out like this. I highly recommend doing so.