I just have to say here, I’m a housewife, were kind of poor, like, we should be middle class, but it’s 2025. My staying home was my decision, and is to support my disabled son, support my own cptsd so I may do the former as best I can, and I of course enjoy giving support to my husband, who’s been raising my son as his own for as long as my son’s working memory is, and he does a damn good job.
He shows gratitude towards me, doesn’t expect a perfect house nor have any expectations outside of taking care of myself and my kid, I do the house work, including his work clothes and such, because I expect a clean kitchen and home myself, and I want to give back and carry my weight anyway I can while we raise my son, who I am absolutely the primary. I will sometimes apologize I’ve had a potato day, and he will tell me, “good, I’m glad you had a relaxing day”. He’ll harp on me for being too hard on myself. He shows gratitude all the time, and is my best friend through thick and thin. He does all the bills, and I’ve never had the card decline for something I’ve needed for my kid. We both show gratitude for what eachother do.
There are good men out there. There are selfish people and there are kind people. If someone doesn’t appreciate you and holds expectations, leave. It took so many tries in dating to find the one I love. My child’s father one time criticized me after I had done the dishes, I didn’t clean down behind the sink. He said he always cleans behind the sink when he does the dishes. Did we fight? Yeah. In the few years we were together, I think he did the dishes twice. So, the duality of people…is not lost on me.
I just want to share a story of a good man. Shit bags exist and should work on themselves. But life is balance. So fuck.
He was in therapy a lot as a child, his parents divorced when he was young, he witnessed his mother be abused physically by her second husband when he was a child, and stuggled for years as a teen/young adult. His parents put him in therapy, as his father’s brother comitted suicide when he was in college, so the whole family took mental health seriously way before it was culturally common. My husband worked on himself through the years and takes accountability for his mistakes.
But he’ll tell you his father saved his life so many times as a young person. The best parenting advice I ever got was from my husband’s father, “sometimes all you can do is love your kid(s) through the hard thing, just got to love them through it”
I’m a dv outreach worker, and there’s certain types of men that are raised in abusive homes that turn out FIERCELY protective of women. Nobody will ever fight for a woman as hard as they do, ever. I bloody love men like that, I absolutely bloody love them
He definitely values women as people, that’s for sure,
Witnessing that, may have been the birth of his mental health issues. She was able to leave with support of her parents, but it definitely affected her first and second born sons in a profound way. They love their mom, and she is lovely. Im just greatful his father saw my husbands mental health going down some years after in late youth/early adulthood (and beyond), and supported him though it emotionally. There was a lot he had to work through, more so then just his mom too. It took a long time, but his father’s support saved him from a dark road. It wasn’t his mother he was calling drunk at 3am to sob over the phone, it was his father, and his father always gave empathy and love.
And often being expected to, without a word of gratitude in return
I just have to say here, I’m a housewife, were kind of poor, like, we should be middle class, but it’s 2025. My staying home was my decision, and is to support my disabled son, support my own cptsd so I may do the former as best I can, and I of course enjoy giving support to my husband, who’s been raising my son as his own for as long as my son’s working memory is, and he does a damn good job.
He shows gratitude towards me, doesn’t expect a perfect house nor have any expectations outside of taking care of myself and my kid, I do the house work, including his work clothes and such, because I expect a clean kitchen and home myself, and I want to give back and carry my weight anyway I can while we raise my son, who I am absolutely the primary. I will sometimes apologize I’ve had a potato day, and he will tell me, “good, I’m glad you had a relaxing day”. He’ll harp on me for being too hard on myself. He shows gratitude all the time, and is my best friend through thick and thin. He does all the bills, and I’ve never had the card decline for something I’ve needed for my kid. We both show gratitude for what eachother do.
There are good men out there. There are selfish people and there are kind people. If someone doesn’t appreciate you and holds expectations, leave. It took so many tries in dating to find the one I love. My child’s father one time criticized me after I had done the dishes, I didn’t clean down behind the sink. He said he always cleans behind the sink when he does the dishes. Did we fight? Yeah. In the few years we were together, I think he did the dishes twice. So, the duality of people…is not lost on me.
I just want to share a story of a good man. Shit bags exist and should work on themselves. But life is balance. So fuck.
I’m afraid I’m about to get flamed idk
You really won’t. I’m really glad you have one of the good ones! Where did he learn it from?
He has a good dad who loves him 😭
He was in therapy a lot as a child, his parents divorced when he was young, he witnessed his mother be abused physically by her second husband when he was a child, and stuggled for years as a teen/young adult. His parents put him in therapy, as his father’s brother comitted suicide when he was in college, so the whole family took mental health seriously way before it was culturally common. My husband worked on himself through the years and takes accountability for his mistakes.
But he’ll tell you his father saved his life so many times as a young person. The best parenting advice I ever got was from my husband’s father, “sometimes all you can do is love your kid(s) through the hard thing, just got to love them through it”
I’m a dv outreach worker, and there’s certain types of men that are raised in abusive homes that turn out FIERCELY protective of women. Nobody will ever fight for a woman as hard as they do, ever. I bloody love men like that, I absolutely bloody love them
He definitely values women as people, that’s for sure,
Witnessing that, may have been the birth of his mental health issues. She was able to leave with support of her parents, but it definitely affected her first and second born sons in a profound way. They love their mom, and she is lovely. Im just greatful his father saw my husbands mental health going down some years after in late youth/early adulthood (and beyond), and supported him though it emotionally. There was a lot he had to work through, more so then just his mom too. It took a long time, but his father’s support saved him from a dark road. It wasn’t his mother he was calling drunk at 3am to sob over the phone, it was his father, and his father always gave empathy and love.