Trusting your gut and getting out of perceived danger is good in some ways. But, it can also reinforce a feeling of paranoia. It’s like the old joke about someone buying a supposedly “magic” item, like leprechaun repellent, and claiming it works because they’ve never been attacked by a leprechaun.
For example, is someone crossing the street to avoid walking near that man because their gut says he’s dangerous? Or is it because he has black skin and they haven’t confronted their internalized racism? Are the people hanging out on the corner actually dangerous members of a gang? Or are they just loud, boisterous teenagers? Let this paranoia go too far and you get incidents like the woman who called the cops on a man birdwatching in central park or someone shooting someone who accidentally used the wrong driveway.
This is personal for me, because my mom is always telling me tales of the sketchy people she had to avoid when she was out walking her dog. When she describes why they were sketchy, her reason is basically “they were black”. I really think if she could get the courage to meet some black people, she’d discover they aren’t automatically scary, and she didn’t need to trust her gut and steer clear of them when they were just outside minding their own business while she was out with the dog. She’d also generally be happier to be out at night, and her quality of life would go up because she wouldn’t be so afraid of her own neighbourhood.
Good point. Im still wondering though if people like her are really responding to fear or if this is more about reinforceing ideas, agendas and drama.
Feeling somewhat uneasy seeing people in your neighborhood whos demographic you don’t like to see around, as unnecessary and harmful this is for the community, is something entirely different than realising you could possibly be harmed in the situation you are in right now.
Im just assuming here that she wont get a fight or flight response every time she sees a black guy or something, though. If she does this is an entirely different problem and may be better adressed by a professional.
I don’t know about other people, but I’m pretty sure that with my mom it is genuine fear. She really does need therapy, but it would take decades to work through all her issues and she’s old and set in her ways. She’d never even agree to see a therapist because she’s confident she doesn’t need one.
Trusting your gut and getting out of perceived danger is good in some ways. But, it can also reinforce a feeling of paranoia. It’s like the old joke about someone buying a supposedly “magic” item, like leprechaun repellent, and claiming it works because they’ve never been attacked by a leprechaun.
For example, is someone crossing the street to avoid walking near that man because their gut says he’s dangerous? Or is it because he has black skin and they haven’t confronted their internalized racism? Are the people hanging out on the corner actually dangerous members of a gang? Or are they just loud, boisterous teenagers? Let this paranoia go too far and you get incidents like the woman who called the cops on a man birdwatching in central park or someone shooting someone who accidentally used the wrong driveway.
This is personal for me, because my mom is always telling me tales of the sketchy people she had to avoid when she was out walking her dog. When she describes why they were sketchy, her reason is basically “they were black”. I really think if she could get the courage to meet some black people, she’d discover they aren’t automatically scary, and she didn’t need to trust her gut and steer clear of them when they were just outside minding their own business while she was out with the dog. She’d also generally be happier to be out at night, and her quality of life would go up because she wouldn’t be so afraid of her own neighbourhood.
Good point. Im still wondering though if people like her are really responding to fear or if this is more about reinforceing ideas, agendas and drama.
Feeling somewhat uneasy seeing people in your neighborhood whos demographic you don’t like to see around, as unnecessary and harmful this is for the community, is something entirely different than realising you could possibly be harmed in the situation you are in right now.
Im just assuming here that she wont get a fight or flight response every time she sees a black guy or something, though. If she does this is an entirely different problem and may be better adressed by a professional.
I don’t know about other people, but I’m pretty sure that with my mom it is genuine fear. She really does need therapy, but it would take decades to work through all her issues and she’s old and set in her ways. She’d never even agree to see a therapist because she’s confident she doesn’t need one.
This is really unfortunate, then. I wish her inner peace and that you may have the strength to have as much patience with her as you can.