I have considered myself an atheist since high school but I feel like I have been forming my own beliefs about how the universe works and I’m curious about if there are others who think like me.
I have started thinking about free will a lot and how I don’t believe we actually have it (depending on what you want to define free will as.) This has caused me to think about how in reality we are not much different than a rock. We have just as much agency in our decisions as a rock does when it is pushed down a river. I’ve thought about our perspectives and why we see life like we do. What if we are just appendages of some greater energy based being kind of like cells are a part of us. We have cells in our body that are a part of us and perform tasks, but we cannot really manipulate them freely. What if life is like that but the other way around. Energy cannot be created or destroyed and it powers everything. The neurons in your brain are powered by energy it gets from glucose. I feel like everything sort of works like a puppet to this greater energy and when we die maybe we just realize we are a part of it. It feels like I have almost stumbled on my own relgion, but I am willing to accept that it probably isnt really like this and I am not intellegent enough to truly understand how everything works. Its just what I like to believe
The thing is I am at a point that I believe we aren’t as sapient as we think we are. I think its natural human arrogance to think that our perspective is more sapient than others or that once you reach our level of sapience you are special. The free will thing is a major player in this. I believe in determinism pretty strongly. Someone else said we are like a canoe instead of a rock but I dont think that whatsoever. Not that the person who said that is wrong I just disagree. Every decision we make has the illusion of choice and we arent really pushing a unique outcome in any way because everything we do is just the next link in an unbroken chain of causality. So to answer your question, no I dont believe there is a god or gods capable of making real decisions that change the universe but I think there could be a larger part of ourselves that also adheres to the same laws of causality that we do and we possibly do not realize we are a part of it because we are focused on a lower level of consciousness like you would if you were dreaming.
Maybe it is spiritualism idk