“I’ve seen so many people I know on the app, it's crazy,” said one user of Tea, which topped the Apple App Store charts this week — shortly before the app was hacked.
So I’ve had multiple GF’s who were physically abusive, cheaters, chronic liars, gaslighters… so is there a version of this for me? Or are men never victims still?
So glad this didn’t exist like ~15 years ago. My one ex, who decided to start a relationship with her co-worker, while we were looking for and then financing a house… When I broke up with her (like 1 week after closing), while I was trying to process the betrayal, she took to Facebook and text messages spamming EVERYONE a fake story about me, trying to pass herself as the victim. Even including a fake pregnancy! All to make me look bad because I caught her cheating. Thankfully, this app didn’t exist, and several of my female friends reached out to me for my side of the story.
But all the “stories” on that app, 100% vetted, right? We get unbiased, both sides of the story, right… Evidence was required… right? Because imaging the harm someone could do if they were just petty, or scornful, of just bored. It’s not like women have ever made false rape claims… right…
I’m not trying to imply my situation is what all men go through… but you can’t just dismiss it, or other men, because it doesn’t fit into your social media-fueled narrative. Yes, some men suck (and that’s selling it short). But, women are just as capable of the same level of suck. We are all, after all, human.
I can see both sides - if it’s an app about suffering abuse, all should be welcome vs there aren’t enough women-only spaces online and those that exist are frequently brigaded.
Both have reasonable arguments. Likely a compromise where a filter could be set where you can choose to opt your posts into the women-only feed.
However, my argument would be this app is bad and no one should be on it. Even if all the content is true, a gossip app that covers legally questionable things is likely not a sensible place to hang around.
People suck, hopefully you were able to take her to court for defamation because what she did is almost the definition of libel where I live (Maryland, US).
People who pretend to be victims upset me almost as much as people who victimize others (they are not equal, but it is still so fucked up). Victims have a rough enough time already being taken seriously. It doesn’t take more than a few false positives to completely take the air out of legitimate accusations from victims. I wish there was some way to solve this problem.
Generally yes but it’s not nearly always so clear cut that one is 100% the offender and the other one 0%.
Which is why attention to details, context, sophistication, listening to both sides before coming to a conclusion, etc. Is so important.
But guess what kind of things get lost when taking part in such a one-sided blame game on the semi-anonymous internet.
Apps like this but also social media more generally allow for one-sided public naming and shaming of Individuals who probably don’t even know about it. It’s problematic because it can be deeply unfair.
I get that there is also value in women protecting themselves against predators but more than likely most content within the app/service is probably one-sided public blaming and gossiping.
And as we all know from right-wing propaganda, being the first to make a bold claim public and generate headlines with it is very powerful and spreads the message far and wide, whether true or false, and many will just believe it’s true without further investigation.
I don’t know why they upset you “almost as much” - people who pretend to be victims are in fact people that are victimizing others. “Other sides” notwithstanding, you said it yourself in so many words: they’re also further victimizing actual victims.
For me, it’s hard to say one or the other is worse. It might depend on circumstances. Is someone making a false claim of rape worse than someone raping someone, or worse than a child rapist, serial rapist, etc? In damage collectively done to all victims, quite possibly. However, the intention of the false witness isn’t usually to delegitimize the claims of other victims. It’s usually shortsited and desperate - a desire to avoid social consequences or to punish the accused. I suspect such false claims are also more common among a younger, naive, immature population. It’s fucked up and selfish, surely. As fucked up as feeling you have the right to use another person’s body for your own physical pleasure or to assert dominance or whatever shit goes through a rapists mind? I don’t know.
Frankly, I’ve never been the victim or perpetrator of either crime, nor have I even been in a situation where either crossed my mind. All I’m qualified to say is that I wish neither crimes would happen to anyone.
So I’ve had multiple GF’s who were physically abusive, cheaters, chronic liars, gaslighters… so is there a version of this for me? Or are men never victims still?
So glad this didn’t exist like ~15 years ago. My one ex, who decided to start a relationship with her co-worker, while we were looking for and then financing a house… When I broke up with her (like 1 week after closing), while I was trying to process the betrayal, she took to Facebook and text messages spamming EVERYONE a fake story about me, trying to pass herself as the victim. Even including a fake pregnancy! All to make me look bad because I caught her cheating. Thankfully, this app didn’t exist, and several of my female friends reached out to me for my side of the story.
But all the “stories” on that app, 100% vetted, right? We get unbiased, both sides of the story, right… Evidence was required… right? Because imaging the harm someone could do if they were just petty, or scornful, of just bored. It’s not like women have ever made false rape claims… right…
I’m not trying to imply my situation is what all men go through… but you can’t just dismiss it, or other men, because it doesn’t fit into your social media-fueled narrative. Yes, some men suck (and that’s selling it short). But, women are just as capable of the same level of suck. We are all, after all, human.
To answer your question, there have been apps like this for men… but they keep getting taken down after users start posting revenge porn.
I also have been attacked by an ex.
I can see both sides - if it’s an app about suffering abuse, all should be welcome vs there aren’t enough women-only spaces online and those that exist are frequently brigaded.
Both have reasonable arguments. Likely a compromise where a filter could be set where you can choose to opt your posts into the women-only feed.
However, my argument would be this app is bad and no one should be on it. Even if all the content is true, a gossip app that covers legally questionable things is likely not a sensible place to hang around.
People suck, hopefully you were able to take her to court for defamation because what she did is almost the definition of libel where I live (Maryland, US).
People who pretend to be victims upset me almost as much as people who victimize others (they are not equal, but it is still so fucked up). Victims have a rough enough time already being taken seriously. It doesn’t take more than a few false positives to completely take the air out of legitimate accusations from victims. I wish there was some way to solve this problem.
Generally yes but it’s not nearly always so clear cut that one is 100% the offender and the other one 0%. Which is why attention to details, context, sophistication, listening to both sides before coming to a conclusion, etc. Is so important. But guess what kind of things get lost when taking part in such a one-sided blame game on the semi-anonymous internet.
Apps like this but also social media more generally allow for one-sided public naming and shaming of Individuals who probably don’t even know about it. It’s problematic because it can be deeply unfair.
I get that there is also value in women protecting themselves against predators but more than likely most content within the app/service is probably one-sided public blaming and gossiping.
And as we all know from right-wing propaganda, being the first to make a bold claim public and generate headlines with it is very powerful and spreads the message far and wide, whether true or false, and many will just believe it’s true without further investigation.
I don’t know why they upset you “almost as much” - people who pretend to be victims are in fact people that are victimizing others. “Other sides” notwithstanding, you said it yourself in so many words: they’re also further victimizing actual victims.
I frankly find it more inexcusable.
For me, it’s hard to say one or the other is worse. It might depend on circumstances. Is someone making a false claim of rape worse than someone raping someone, or worse than a child rapist, serial rapist, etc? In damage collectively done to all victims, quite possibly. However, the intention of the false witness isn’t usually to delegitimize the claims of other victims. It’s usually shortsited and desperate - a desire to avoid social consequences or to punish the accused. I suspect such false claims are also more common among a younger, naive, immature population. It’s fucked up and selfish, surely. As fucked up as feeling you have the right to use another person’s body for your own physical pleasure or to assert dominance or whatever shit goes through a rapists mind? I don’t know.
Frankly, I’ve never been the victim or perpetrator of either crime, nor have I even been in a situation where either crossed my mind. All I’m qualified to say is that I wish neither crimes would happen to anyone.
Inb4 “found the bear”