Thank you. I promise a great sundering. I promise ruin grief and desolation

Heres my platform:

A new government department dedicated to making your pets hate you.

A great new infrastructure public works and jobs project inspired by ‘fullmetal alchemist’.

Nationalize twitter

All government services are now provided through chat bots. On twitter. Also the character limit is back.

End racism by instituting slavery for all americans, regardless of race or creed

Make new, more fucked up, racism. Possible a caste system, but definitely involve calipers.

Those dog robots? More of those.

Murder drones with arbitrary targeting rules, changed daily and only announced an hour in advance

Start a grand research project to realize every dystopian scifi novel

Engineer every child (to be a fucking disaster)

Taxes are now microtransactions. Through twitter. There will be points.

I promise to destroy or steal for myself: the moon and at least one continent.

Still capitalism, but cops have to break in and use your toothbrush at least once a week.

All home appliances must be wifi enabled and access your social media-including sex toys.

Gender affirming care for trans people is just as banned, but now cis people need to do it (we will check)

You can still have ice cream, but we only do meat and periodic table flavors now. No the meat is not cooked first.

All identification now requires licking a surface. You can clean the surface with a dry sponge. After you use it.

Possible slogans: Outhouseperilous 2028-

-a politician you want to lie!

-Hope you can trust; hope that im lying!

-Fuck it

-Can this really be worse?

-at least shes not a fascist

-no war for oil, only war for war