My dad has recently been caught having an affair with his young personal assistant. Huge scandal; mom was very angry. Now they’re in the middle of divorce proceedings. Mom moved out, the other woman moved in and I chose to stay with him because we’re super close; he’s like my best friend. Now mom’s telling me to go and live with her and go no contact with him cause he’s a bad person and by continuing having a relationship with him I’m condoning his actions and “ignoring her suffering”. My relationship with my dad hasn’t changed, I don’t see why I should end it.
The problem with this
dicksfine persons arguement is your choosing sides either way. Its unfortunate but true. And do you want to stand on the side of the person who didn’t cheat, or the one who didInaction is still an action
One side it trying to force them to choose a side. It is up to adults to say “this is between us, and our relationship doesn’t change your relationships.”
OP could be very supportive of their mother and still not want to move out of the home they already lived in. But it doesn’t sound like the mom wants to let OP do that.
Also, from their other comments, their father has been more supportive through their life while their mom has been cold and judgemental. Trying to force her child into a position whete they are expected to mete out judgement as well just emphasizes that they aren’t terribly concerned with the well-being of their child.
And anyway, if you want support, you should give support. And OPs mom missed that boat, so it makes sense for OP to stay with the parent who supported them.
Eh. As an adult I get to fully choose which side I’m on. And going off of the facts I had at the time, id choose the side of not being with a cheating power abuser
But since more facts have been stated besides just i dont feel like it, its easier to pick a diffrent side.
This wasn’t cheater vs homophobe at first