Every time I hear about Eid I vividly remember being in 3rd grade and having the teacher ask if anyone celebrated any holidays other than Christmas with their family, and when a girl said her family celebrated Eid the teacher told her not to make things up

Make it a paid holiday for everyone, like Christmas, you cowards.

What a great idea! Put all of a group together in one spot on the same day so Stephen Miller can find them. (for the avoidance of doubt - SATIRE)