• supersquirrel@sopuli.xyzOP
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      2 days ago

      It must be those illegal immigrants smuggling in warm weather along with all the fetanyl!

      I look out the window at a pleasant weather day.

      Thats it, IVE HAD IT.

      I smash the icebutton on my refrigerator door.

      My pockets filled, armed to the teeth I step outside and unload a whole clip of cubes on a sunny bit of sidewalk with a nice bench to sit on.

      “Try to have a nice peaceful moment there NOW you damn illegals!!!” - I scream at a tan native american woman wisely crossing the street to avoid me.

      Later while at home alone, empty and soggy, I ask the mirror “Why is the universe always conspiring against me?”.