• admin@lemmy.today
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    23 hours ago

    At first, I thought people were exaggerating by calling her comics a strawman, as the situation mentioned in the comic above happens too commonly.

    I did a little digging and found this deleted thread.

    https://archive.is/xfVPD

    To my surprise she turned out exactly like people she seems to be calling out.

    Edit: added url

    Edit 2: She didn’t respond and went radio silent on people who shared their experience and called her out.

    Edit 3 : Found this in the same thread

    lol, this feels like the convo in a nutshell…

    Alice: “Bob, I’ll bet you could never imagine what it would feel like if X happened to you.”

    Bob: “Actually X has happened to me.”

    Alice: “Jesus fucking Christ, Bob! Not everything’s about you!”

    • Magnus@lemmy.ca
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      22 hours ago

      Yeah she’s quite toxic actually. Literally exactly like the people she calls out but from the other side of the pond.

      The panel you linked was such rage bait because while some standards are different, both genders get away with their fair share.

      I’m an attractive guy and I’ve been assaulted for refusing to sleep with a girl at a party. And when the owner of the house saw her kicking me (hard af) he assumed I was the one that did something to warrant it. Took several people to convince him she was the aggressor.

      I’ve had my ass grabbed in public numerous times. Half the time it was a group of women and I had no idea who it was.

      Had some girl kiss me at a bar by yanking my head so hard I almost fell off. Never met her before in my life. Everyone cheered.

      Had some girl yank me by the arm to the bar to get her a drink and then throw it in my face literally 2m later when another girl accidentally bumped into me. The bouncer said I should probably leave. Me.

      Woke up in the middle of the night and a buddy’s place to find a girl I met earlier that night trying to undo my belt. I told my gf and she got upset at me saying I must have done something and that no girl would ever do something like that.

      My personal favourite was my 60 something creative writing prof in first year that spent the entire 20m of our meeting in her office literally undressing me with her eyes to where I bailed on a bunch of things I wanted to discuss because of how uncomfortable I was.

      Been honked, cat called, told to smile, asked why I’m not smiling, or called “gay” because I wouldn’t go home with a girl more times than I can even remember.

      I’ve seen the worst from both sides. Everyone with either a testicle or an ovary can sit right the fuck down.

      • undefinedValue@programming.dev
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        2 hours ago

        Any chance you’d be willing to dm me a selfie? Your stories are fascinatingly fucked up and I’d like to calibrate the level of attractiveness needed for women to become rapey savages.

      • wolfinthewoods@lemmy.ml
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        5 hours ago

        I’ve seen the worst from both sides. Everyone with either a testicle or an ovary can sit right the fuck down.

        But that’s just it, right? Your experience is an outlier in the typical male experience. I myself have never experienced those kinds of things, but I am sorry you have.

        The problem is, that women experience these types of things far more than men do. It is wrong that it happens to males as well, but that type of sentiment (hey, guys have it bad too!) is exactly why the slogans “All Lives Matter” versus “Black Lives Matter” is a huge deflection on a problematic issue.

        Sure, all lives matter, but when there is a disproportionate amount of black people having actions happen that put their lives in danger, re-framing the argument only serves to obscure that reality even further.

        I think it’s important to realize there is a time and place for grievance, and when it is someone trying to relate their struggle, it isn’t helpful to mention “well yeah, I have it bad too”. Imagine saying that to a widower: “you lost your wife? I lost my husband and my son!” Comparing burdens does nothing to address the suffering of another, and it doesn’t bring to light the scope of the issue when it is a group that experiences more adversity than another.

        The fact of the matter is, we live in a male-dominated society, and as such we experience a much, much different reality than women do. Same with minority ethnic groups. And to marginalize those already marginalized groups even further by bringing up our (very real at times) struggles feels like a slight to them.

        I do believe that there is a very real need to talk about toxic attitudes held towards things that happen towards men, which is important because it is mainly due to our status, these issues are all too often swept under the rug or minimized because those things “don’t happen to men”. That is wrong, and is a very real problem.

        • Magnus@lemmy.ca
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          1 hour ago

          There is no “typical male experience”. You’re basing that alone on YOUR own experience because what, you consider yourself the prototypical male? Lol. Your experiences bely your own bias if that’s the argument you want to take. You do not represent a committee of men, after all.

          Moreover, we don’t need to look at every pigeon if we want to study albinos. We focus on that population.

          Here we are focusing on the part of the population that is physically attractive and what they deal with in this supposed “world for men.”

        • undefinedValue@programming.dev
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          2 hours ago

          I hard disagree with your position here, including your allegedly heinous example of bonding with a widow because you also lost your SO! Can you imagine?! Humans bonding over a common experience?

          All Lives Matter isn’t fucked up because it believes that all lives really matter, that surface explanation is actually quite virtuous until you learn the context surrounding it. It’s only when you find out it came about as a rebuttal by racists to the Black Lives Matter movement that it starts to take on a sinister note.

          The GP saying he gets raped and assaulted by women too is not in any way comparable to the all lives matter slogan and you’re delusional for drawing that comparison.

          Women do experience these types of things more, everyone fucking knows that. We should not be dismissing men who are experiencing it too or telling them to hush up cause the ladies are venting right now. Instead we should be encouraging fellow humans to bond and find common ground so that we can move past this bullshit and deal with the real problems? The sexual assault perpetrators - who yes, are admittedly mostly men.

          Why men commit more crimes in general is beyond the scope of our discussion…

        • erin (she/her)@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          22 hours ago

          Thanks! I see both their points. The comic clearly was intended to point out women’s issues but if men resonate with that that’s fair too. There was a lot of gross stuff though in the rest of the thread(s). I wouldn’t say pizzacake was totally out of line, but it wasn’t particularly empathic, the way she responded. The comments by defensive men though… very wrong place, wrong time.