DES MOINES, IA — Jessica Djukanovic, a conservative wrestling coach, mother of four, and loyal voter for the “Traditional Values and Strict Legislation Party,” is reportedly “shocked and appalled” to discover that the very laws she helped implement are currently treating her life as a secondary concern to a non-viable fetus.
Pro-life isn’t pro-birth, it’s forced-birth. It’s “I will strap you down to a table against your will and watch you die, if I have to, to make sure it happens.”
Most accurate distillation of the policy to date
Not even death can save you from me
-Diablo, Diablo2; the republican party