I had a very Christian coworker who already had a daughter and who was part of the maga pipeline. He didn’t hide his disappointment when he told me the gender of he and his wife’s next child had been revealed as another girl. Sent a shudder up my spine how he paused and said it in a sad tone, the way you would if you were a teenager expecting a Mustang for your birthday and instead having your parents roll up in a Saturn for you. What kind of world do we live in where folks are disappointed that their next kid will be female? It’s dumb society has been crafted this way, stupid af.
What kind of world do we live in where folks are disappointed that their next kid will be female? It’s dumb society has been crafted this way, stupid af.
I’m probably giving more credit than is due, but:
I don’t think it’s inherently bad for a parent to have a preference for their kid’s sex. If a mother already has a son, I can understand her wanting her next child to be a daughter. Similarly, if a father already has a daughter, I can understand him wanting a son next. All parent/child relationships are special, but I understand parents who are particularly interested in cultivating a mother/daughter or father/son relationship.
Obviously no parent should ever be disappointed in their child for simply being one sex or the other; that’s not okay. But I can understand a parent being disappointed that things didn’t turn out how they had hoped in that regard.
Disclaimer: My father was very transparent that I was a last-ditch-effort for him to finally have a son after having 3 daughters. Thanks dad.
My experience was that everyone was interested in knowing the gender, but no one ever had any responses other than happy ones relating to the answer. We ended up with one boy and one girl so there was an opportunity for people to comment positively and negatively for the binary genders. We had a lot of people comment on it being nice that we ended up with 1 boy and 1 girl, but I took that as getting to experience raising both binary genders. Also, everyone was excited to buy baby clothes targeting little girls and little boys. While my daughter has a “girly” side to her, she also wears hand-me-downs from my son whose clothes are not “girly.”
I will say, I have worked hard to keep people in my life who are good people and get away from the rest (e.g., I haven’t talked with my biological mother in 20 years because she drains energy and money from everyone around her). So, that may be why my experience was different. Although, I also experienced this with strangers (e.g., people in the grocery store were happy to chat with my wife about her pregnancy regardless of whether my wife was. At least they were all nice.).
way more common than I expected. or maybe they were assuming I (a man) wanted a boy.
either way it was stupid
I had a very Christian coworker who already had a daughter and who was part of the maga pipeline. He didn’t hide his disappointment when he told me the gender of he and his wife’s next child had been revealed as another girl. Sent a shudder up my spine how he paused and said it in a sad tone, the way you would if you were a teenager expecting a Mustang for your birthday and instead having your parents roll up in a Saturn for you. What kind of world do we live in where folks are disappointed that their next kid will be female? It’s dumb society has been crafted this way, stupid af.
I’m probably giving more credit than is due, but:
I don’t think it’s inherently bad for a parent to have a preference for their kid’s sex. If a mother already has a son, I can understand her wanting her next child to be a daughter. Similarly, if a father already has a daughter, I can understand him wanting a son next. All parent/child relationships are special, but I understand parents who are particularly interested in cultivating a mother/daughter or father/son relationship.
Obviously no parent should ever be disappointed in their child for simply being one sex or the other; that’s not okay. But I can understand a parent being disappointed that things didn’t turn out how they had hoped in that regard.
Disclaimer: My father was very transparent that I was a last-ditch-effort for him to finally have a son after having 3 daughters. Thanks dad.
that’s so sad.
I can’t imagine growing up with your own parents being disappointed in your for just being born.
My experience was that everyone was interested in knowing the gender, but no one ever had any responses other than happy ones relating to the answer. We ended up with one boy and one girl so there was an opportunity for people to comment positively and negatively for the binary genders. We had a lot of people comment on it being nice that we ended up with 1 boy and 1 girl, but I took that as getting to experience raising both binary genders. Also, everyone was excited to buy baby clothes targeting little girls and little boys. While my daughter has a “girly” side to her, she also wears hand-me-downs from my son whose clothes are not “girly.”
I will say, I have worked hard to keep people in my life who are good people and get away from the rest (e.g., I haven’t talked with my biological mother in 20 years because she drains energy and money from everyone around her). So, that may be why my experience was different. Although, I also experienced this with strangers (e.g., people in the grocery store were happy to chat with my wife about her pregnancy regardless of whether my wife was. At least they were all nice.).