Hey, friend. Just remember that broken trust speaks ill of them, not you. And as for a bad track record, I find that the most trusting people are also the most trustworthy. Right now that’s pretty much all I know about you, but it’s enough to believe you’re making the world around you better. I don’t think your problem is trust, but rather being in a position where broken trust leaves you in an untenable situation.
I don’t know your reasons for hating yourself. Those belong to you. But whatever they are, whether they are valid or not, you don’t deserve hate. Hell, I wouldn’t waste my time hating anyone — hate has never solved a single problem. Give yourself some grace and room to make mistakes and improve. And then to stumble and do it again. We all have.
No lie, part of life is just luck, and for that part I hope yours is good. But the rest of it is in your hands, and those sound like decent hands to be in.
I can’t know why you were downvoted. I generally don’t downvote and didn’t in this case. But were I to speculate…
You pointed out a distinction without a difference. And the way you defended yourself preemptively makes you sound like you knew very well you were being pedantic and what the result would be. It doesn’t contribute anything of value to the conversation and leaves one with the impression you disagree it was outrageous to fire her — else why issue a meaningless “correction”?
I don’t know why you did that, but I strongly suspect your downvotes are related to that thought-process.