Dunno how else to call it. Got me a job. It’s not a bad job. I like the work I do, I tolerate the people there, the hours are not long, it’s unionised so they can’t harrass me when I’m off the clock, it pays the bills I got.
… But god damn. Once I’m home I lack the drive to do literally anything.
I’ve stopped going to gym, I often eat junk cuz I just don’t wanna cook, even my hobbies are being left to gather dust. After working my 9-to-5 I just wanna lie down and rot until it’s work time again.
So the question is, how do the better-adjusted adults handle this?
The reason you hate it is because you expect to hate it, because you are “forced” to do it. Self-fulfilling prophesy. Sure, endorphins are good - but because you are priming yourself to hate exercise, even if you generate them your brain will avoid interpreting their existance as a “good” feeling.
It is possible to learn to love exercising. It’s easy, actually, since exercise is fundamental to human health, so the body is primed to reward you for doing it. But you will probably find it difficult, since not only do you hate exercise, but you like hating exercise. I don’t wanna psychoanalyze you too much - but based on this comment, it is pretty clear that hating exercise is something of an identity for you. I have all sorts of tips and tricks for learning to enjoy exercise (which really boil down to “make it easy, fun, and social”) - but they all fall flat if you are simply determined to hate it because that is what makes your ego feel safe.
Golly gee, you’re telling me that the reason I dislike the shitty activity that sucks and make me feel terrible is only because I’m forced to do the shitty activity that sucks and makes me feel terrible? You’re saying that if I trick my brain into thinking that the shitty activity that sucks and makes me feel terrible somehow isn’t shitty, doesn’t suck, and doesn’t make me feel terrible; I’ll somehow believe it? Sorry, my brain doesn’t work like that. It tends to reject blatant fucking lies, especially when they come from myself.
I’m sure there are people who practice self-flangellation that have convinced themselves that they like it. Doesn’t make it any less of a stupid activity that anyone with sense would recognize is fucking awful.
Yes
It does work like that.
Then tell it the truth you want to believe.
Truth is, you need to exercise to not die. You can choose to see this as a terrible burden you are forced to endure. Or you can see it as a stroke of luck, pushing you out of your comfort zone to do something that will be beneficial to your overall health, in addition to being something that will bring you joy for the rest of your life. Either way of looking at it is completely valid - it’s just your choice if you see it as a good thing or a bad thing. But if you see it as a good thing… you’ll probably be happier.
Here’s a little thought experiment: If someone offered you a magical pill that could keep you healthy and fit and you never had to work out again, would you take it?
If the answer is yes, then it’s because while you may like the results of working out; deep down you know the actual act of working out fucking sucks. If such a pill existed, you wouldn’t keep lifting weights or running on a treadmill just for the hell of it.
It’s fine to like the results of working out. Hell, I like the results. I like being healthy. I like not having heart problems. But I’m not going to fucking delude myself like a gullible idiot and say that what it takes to achieve those things is somehow enjoyable. Because it’s not. Working out is fucking awful. Just because it’s the only option doesn’t mean I have to pretend to like it.
I mean, certainly I would take it. But I would still keep working out because I have other goals I want to achieve - I want to look good, hit certain athletic goals (like 2xBW dead), and tick certain party tricks (like a one arm handstand). But sure, suppose the pill created all the physiological changes I wanted.
Well in that case, I would still do some sort of skill training (handstands aren’t just pure muscle). And also, I find that some short amount of somewhat heavy lifting primes my body for other sorts of exercise - it makes me feel warm and snappy. But fine, maybe there’s a pill for that too.
And then - well great! I could stop lifting weights and pounding pavement, I suppose. What would I do instead? Well, I would spend more time doing my hobbies, which are exercise based. I would play more ultimate frisbee, go rock climbing, go canyoneering, go mountain running. I would cycle cross country, hike long trails, learn to surf, get into acrobatics, and become a breakdancer. I would landscape my back yard, build houses, experiment with crazy weird diy ideas that are probably a bad idea. Also, imagine if you got two people who took the pill together - the sex would be craaaazyyyy!!! I would use my athleticism as I use it now - to meet new people with a common interest, have fun with friends, explore new places, push my mental limits, and create artistic statements of my lived experience.
And I will refer back to what I said before - the way to like exercise is to make it fun, easy, and social. It doesn’t have to mean 3 sets of 8 on the leg press and running until you hate yourself on the treadmill. I didn’t get into exercise by going to the gym. I just had a vague notion that exercise made you not fat, and started playing pickup ultimate frisbee because the people were friendly, I had fun doing it, and a group met every day during lunch.
And if I may be so bold - I think this concept will work for you, too. But only if you can entertain the notion that some forms of exercise might be enjoyable. Because if you always show up to every new thing you try with the attitude that it is definitely terrible and you will hate it… then you will.