Dunno how else to call it. Got me a job. It’s not a bad job. I like the work I do, I tolerate the people there, the hours are not long, it’s unionised so they can’t harrass me when I’m off the clock, it pays the bills I got.
… But god damn. Once I’m home I lack the drive to do literally anything.
I’ve stopped going to gym, I often eat junk cuz I just don’t wanna cook, even my hobbies are being left to gather dust. After working my 9-to-5 I just wanna lie down and rot until it’s work time again.
So the question is, how do the better-adjusted adults handle this?
A lot of it is just figuring out a new routine. Once you do, and you work that routine for a couple of weeks, it will feel weird to NOT hit the gym after work a few times a week.
This is a fucking lie. I work out to keep my blood pressure down and I HATE it. Every fucking day I hate it. “IT wIlL feEL WeIrD NOT tO HiT tHe gYm-” fuck off. No it doesn’t. Every second I’m at the gym I wish I could be laying down relaxing. It also doesn’t get easier. Oh the workouts do, but the motivation to go? The awful post-workout routine of being exhausted and needing to shower but STILL having to cook and do all the household chores that need to get done that day? The desire to do ANYTHING else besides go to the gym? That does NOT get easier.
I’m so fucking tired of working out. If I didn’t have blood pressure issues, there is no way in hell I would subject myself to that BS 5/7 days of the week. There is no enjoyment from this activity. People talk about post-workout endorphins and I feel like they have to be bullshitting because I’ve never felt anything of the sort. Just a vague relief that it’s over… At least for that day.
Honestly cannot fathom this. Are you pushing yourself at the gym? Are you eating healthy and enough protein? Resting enough?
There’s literally never been a period of my life where going to the gym regularly hasn’t made me feel better. I havent gone for like 6 months because I’ve been brutally busy, but I honestly cannot fathom how you could be going and not getting something positive out of it.
I bet you’re also a morning person who just doesn’t understand why people struggle waking up and being productive.
Nope, night owl who likes to sleep in.
there was a youtube short video I wish I could find again about a guy who got dumped by his girlfriend and started going to the gym and on the treadmill every day and he hated every minute of it and never really grew to like it but slow got more in shape and his life went from pit of despair to just ok and I feel like that sort of thing - recognizing that some of us don’t get runners high, some of us don’t don’t get that habit-formation and it remains a slog - is way more motivating than people saying “it’ll get easier! stay positive!” etc.
You shouldn’t necessarily ever expect to enjoy doing something that you’re essentially forced to do. The gym is kinda like work for you so its perfectly reasonable that you hate it.
I love playing guitar and working on music but if I was ever forced to do it daily I would start hating it real quick. This is why I avoid monetization routes for my music that would require adhering to a routine.
When it comes to the gym, I’ve certainly gotten well into it to the point that it feels weird not to go. Same with running, but even more potent. I’d actually be in a shit mood if I had to skip a scheduled run for some reason.
Its a real bummer that you’re struggling to enjoy the gym, but I totally understand where you’re coming from. Life is busy and sometimes all that I have the bandwidth for is a beer on the couch after work. We all have our limits and that’s OK.
Glad to hear you’re pushing through it for the sake of your health. There’s likely no better reason to hit the gym. 💪
The reason you hate it is because you expect to hate it, because you are “forced” to do it. Self-fulfilling prophesy. Sure, endorphins are good - but because you are priming yourself to hate exercise, even if you generate them your brain will avoid interpreting their existance as a “good” feeling.
It is possible to learn to love exercising. It’s easy, actually, since exercise is fundamental to human health, so the body is primed to reward you for doing it. But you will probably find it difficult, since not only do you hate exercise, but you like hating exercise. I don’t wanna psychoanalyze you too much - but based on this comment, it is pretty clear that hating exercise is something of an identity for you. I have all sorts of tips and tricks for learning to enjoy exercise (which really boil down to “make it easy, fun, and social”) - but they all fall flat if you are simply determined to hate it because that is what makes your ego feel safe.
Golly gee, you’re telling me that the reason I dislike the shitty activity that sucks and make me feel terrible is only because I’m forced to do the shitty activity that sucks and makes me feel terrible? You’re saying that if I trick my brain into thinking that the shitty activity that sucks and makes me feel terrible somehow isn’t shitty, doesn’t suck, and doesn’t make me feel terrible; I’ll somehow believe it? Sorry, my brain doesn’t work like that. It tends to reject blatant fucking lies, especially when they come from myself.
I’m sure there are people who practice self-flangellation that have convinced themselves that they like it. Doesn’t make it any less of a stupid activity that anyone with sense would recognize is fucking awful.
Yes
It does work like that.
Then tell it the truth you want to believe.
Truth is, you need to exercise to not die. You can choose to see this as a terrible burden you are forced to endure. Or you can see it as a stroke of luck, pushing you out of your comfort zone to do something that will be beneficial to your overall health, in addition to being something that will bring you joy for the rest of your life. Either way of looking at it is completely valid - it’s just your choice if you see it as a good thing or a bad thing. But if you see it as a good thing… you’ll probably be happier.
Here’s a little thought experiment: If someone offered you a magical pill that could keep you healthy and fit and you never had to work out again, would you take it?
If the answer is yes, then it’s because while you may like the results of working out; deep down you know the actual act of working out fucking sucks. If such a pill existed, you wouldn’t keep lifting weights or running on a treadmill just for the hell of it.
It’s fine to like the results of working out. Hell, I like the results. I like being healthy. I like not having heart problems. But I’m not going to fucking delude myself like a gullible idiot and say that what it takes to achieve those things is somehow enjoyable. Because it’s not. Working out is fucking awful. Just because it’s the only option doesn’t mean I have to pretend to like it.
I mean, certainly I would take it. But I would still keep working out because I have other goals I want to achieve - I want to look good, hit certain athletic goals (like 2xBW dead), and tick certain party tricks (like a one arm handstand). But sure, suppose the pill created all the physiological changes I wanted.
Well in that case, I would still do some sort of skill training (handstands aren’t just pure muscle). And also, I find that some short amount of somewhat heavy lifting primes my body for other sorts of exercise - it makes me feel warm and snappy. But fine, maybe there’s a pill for that too.
And then - well great! I could stop lifting weights and pounding pavement, I suppose. What would I do instead? Well, I would spend more time doing my hobbies, which are exercise based. I would play more ultimate frisbee, go rock climbing, go canyoneering, go mountain running. I would cycle cross country, hike long trails, learn to surf, get into acrobatics, and become a breakdancer. I would landscape my back yard, build houses, experiment with crazy weird diy ideas that are probably a bad idea. Also, imagine if you got two people who took the pill together - the sex would be craaaazyyyy!!! I would use my athleticism as I use it now - to meet new people with a common interest, have fun with friends, explore new places, push my mental limits, and create artistic statements of my lived experience.
And I will refer back to what I said before - the way to like exercise is to make it fun, easy, and social. It doesn’t have to mean 3 sets of 8 on the leg press and running until you hate yourself on the treadmill. I didn’t get into exercise by going to the gym. I just had a vague notion that exercise made you not fat, and started playing pickup ultimate frisbee because the people were friendly, I had fun doing it, and a group met every day during lunch.
And if I may be so bold - I think this concept will work for you, too. But only if you can entertain the notion that some forms of exercise might be enjoyable. Because if you always show up to every new thing you try with the attitude that it is definitely terrible and you will hate it… then you will.